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LO Starting Hospice

In the last few of months my LO became incontinent; I could handle that. He was still ambulatory albeit slow but he could get around with my assistance, could feed himself, I could get him in bed, and other daily tasks.

Just like that, overnight two days ago his legs are gone; meaning he cannot stand, walk, get in bed, he sleeps until I try to get him up, keeps his eyes closed when speaking his one or two word answers. I freaked out and called 911 to make sure he was not having a medical issue. Once they checked his vitals and they were normal, I told them that I did not want him taken to the hospital.

Knowing I needed assistance and THANKS to the information shared by many caring forum members, I called hospice. Until I read many posts here, I thought calling hospice was me saying I give up, cannot do this, let him go. But no, it will provide me with much needed assistance so that I can keep my LO home. He was accepted yesterday. Today they are brining a hospital bed which will facilitate me getting him into bed. He is not in pain and they will keep him on his same meds.

Watching the rapid decline in my LO brought me to uncontrollable tears and breaks my heart.

Again, thank you to all who have shared their hospice experience and to those in the medical field that have explained what hospice does. That's what made my decision to call hospice an easy one. I hope this helps anyone considering this option. xo

Comments

  • housefinch
    housefinch Member Posts: 430
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    I’m sorry you’re going through this. I hope it provides you comfort and makes your loved one’s remaining time comfortable and peaceful.

  • marier
    marier Member Posts: 66
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    Thank You so so much for your post. I to felt like I was giving up and somewhat guilty. I will have my hospice eval on Monday 9-16. I am relieved that I made the decision. Although I am sad but relieved. Grateful for the additional help. This has been a long journey of 10+ years.

  • marier
    marier Member Posts: 66
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  • Shelly / Texas
    Shelly / Texas Member Posts: 19
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    Caro Lynne - I am so sorry to hear about the rapid decline. My DH dips very, very low at times, and it is indeed scary. About a month ago, he got in bed and did not get out. We now have home hospice as well. My DH is back moving around, but hospice care gives me the assurance that we are doing what is best for my DH, he does not like doctors and detests hospitals. I plan to keep him at home as long as possible. Sending support.

  • Caro_Lynne
    Caro_Lynne Member Posts: 371
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    Marie, I had the same conflicting feelings. Prior to calling hospice, I searched the forum for posts with "hospice" and after re-reading them I felt at peace with my decision. I hope you will feel the same. You have been on this road longer than me so any assistance you can get, take it. Sending hugs xo

  • jfkoc
    jfkoc Member Posts: 3,937
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    edited September 13

    and…..they have services for you too…social worker, chaplin, volunteers

  • Caro_Lynne
    Caro_Lynne Member Posts: 371
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    Thank you Shelly. Your experience sounds like mine and I agree with everything you've stated. It's comforting to know that we are not alone xo

  • fmb
    fmb Member Posts: 462
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    @Caro_Lynne @marier

    I am sorry that your loved ones have progressed to the point where hospice care is necessary. My DH entered hospice care last November after having 6 hospitalizations in 4-1/2 months. We have been blessed with an incredible hospice team, and they have been as much support for me as they have DH. Today is DH's 93rd birthday, and I had passed a card around requesting that facility staff and the hospice team sign it if they wanted to. His hospice nurse wrote, "You are SO Loved!" It reduced me to tears. These people are keeping me sane.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more