Insurance Company informed my Mom that I've been making medical decisions for her

you can’t control what the insurance company tells her. Can you control this on the front end by limiting her phone access? Hard I know, but that may be the more successful route. If it’s a cell phone, take it away for “repairs.” If it’s a landline, turn off the ringers and take it off the hook.

I personally wouldn’t care so much about the MRI as it is unlikely to give definitive information.

Whoever is telling you to “be honest “ with her doesn’t understand dementia and anosognosia.

Have you considered AL or memory care? When she is having trouble functioning in the real world without driving everyone else to distraction it’s time to consider a controlled environment.

A different perspective…. Since our religious beliefs prohibit lying under any circumstances, we've had to go the honesty route from the beginning. We are now in Stage 4 to early 5 on the DBAT scale. We're still being honest. That doesn't mean we give long complicated explanations, but we have told her the truth about her medical evaluations, and what we're doing for her. We let her know how we're using the POA. "We're taking care of your bills right now, and doing your business, so you don't have to worry about that. I talked to your doctor. You have an appointment on blah-blah-blah…" The lifelong high level of trust and loyalty that's always been there is still at work, and because of that level of trust, she's allowed us to handle medical and financial decisions, and is relieved to have us doing it.

(I will admit, I was so very, very grateful when she developed dizzy spells—just about the time her driving was getting scary. Thus the explanation: "You can't drive anymore because you're having dizzy spells, and you wouldn't want to have an accident and kill somebody." It might not be the only reason she can't drive anymore, but it was an honest reason. Now she doesn't remember when she quit driving, and thinks it was years ago.)

I know that her level of trust and acceptance may change further along as the disease progresses. We may use redirection and distraction, but lying is still off the table. Sometimes, she may just have to be upset with us. She may refuse medications, or other things that would be helpful to her. We may have to make decisions against her will, and get some unhappy feedback.

I have to say, though, that none of those things ever happened when our grandmother died of AD. We could not mistake the presence of God still working in her life. She never became angry, aggressive, paranoid, or accusatory. She had symptoms of AD for over 14 years, and from the beginning to her death, she lived as she had been all her life, even when she could no longer speak or eat, or remember her family—she still showed Christ's Spirit and His love, and she was gentle to the end—a witness with Alzheimers.

I don't say any of this to preach a sermon: merely, that we have chosen another way of doing things, and these are the reasons why.

There is a post in the forum about telling the absolute truth vs helpful fiblets… A spouse would ask where her parent was, and he absolutely refused to lie to her. He kept telling her the parent died. She would break down and grieve every time. That is just cruel. How much more compassionate to say the parent just isn't here at the moment, or has gone on a trip.

We don't intentionally outright lie to MIL, but when certain subjects or situations come up, we will go with the compassionate fiblet. every time.

A few things that I did when my mother's dementia became apparent (progressed rather rapidly):

1. Logged into her** online banking to set the spend maximum on her debit card to the lowest limit that she'd normally need, as a security measure. If she tried to exceed, card would be declined.
   Disabled ATM use altogether, as she never used that.
2. Logged into her online banking and set email & text notices for any and all bank transactions.
3. Submitted a form to the state DMV stating that she was not competent to drive. DMV must then require the driver to submit to a driver's test to prove competence. They sent postal mail about it, which of course my mother didn't understand; so her driver's license was suspended. I'd tell her that she can't drive until she gets it "unsuspended" but that I could order whatever groceries and such she needed for delivery to home. [This was done very shortly before I brought her to live with me.]
4. Changed her contact address, email, and phone number to mine for all her accounts.
5. Kept a duplicate copy of her state ID, insurance cards, and such in my wallet — because she'd constantly lose hers.
6. Made up some of her empty prescription bottles as "fake" pills for when she got suspicious and decided that she should administer her own medication. This thought was usually forgotten after a nap or even minutes, and then I could give her her actual prescription meds. But, kept the fake pill bottles in purse that she use to use for them, so she could keep it in her possession, if she wanted.

** I was listed as co-owner on the bank account, so technically I had permission to access the online banking. But, let's just say: do immediately create an online banking account for all her accounts, even if you are not co-owner. Easy to help her manage her finances.

NOTE: I also had DPOA when doing all of those things, except having her declared an unfit driver. Anyone can file that report.

CLOSE CALL: When I set my mother's maximum spend limit on her debit card, the bank sent her a postal letter about this change. She freaked out ; immediately went to the bank and closed that joint account and moved the money to a new single-owner account. (Even though the joint-account had been her idea. And, even though I'd spoken with the bank about her condition, about which they were well familiar. She constantly withdrew largish amounts of cash, which she'd promptly lose in her house.) When I moved her in with me, and had explained the security measure, we had to re-add me as co-owner to that new account. But, it was a near disaster.

@Lucy C Please stop. A PWD cannot reason.

@H1235 thank you.

So true. I wasn't quite sure how to put that after being scolded.

and none of us want arguments, we just want to support one another. If MIL really knew what she was to become, she would be mortified.

One of the things I've done to avoid lying is responding to the emotion of a statement rather than to its factual content. Usually I feel that the emotional component is the important part my loved one is trying to communicate, and getting caught up in the factual details of Dolly Parton or whether he can go home is a distraction.