Help!

so sorry Denise. He won’t remember anything you tell him, so unfortunately you just have to say the same things over and over- you’re too sick to go home, the doctors haven’t released you yet. I still use these all the time with my partner when she talks about wanting to leave. He probably has no sense of time.

You could also be a trigger for this. You may have to limit your visits, hard as that is. Ask the staff how he does when you’re not there.

so sorry. I know this is hard. Don’t tell him where he’s going. It’s just another place the doctor wants him to go. Tell this again when they move him again. The doctor wants him to get extra care. If he says he wants to go home, say when the doctor says he can. Make sure the caregivers at memory care reinforce what you told him. Remember you are doing this for him. They will help him adjust. When you visit, do so at meal time and don’t say goodbye or tell him you’re leaving. Just slip out. He won’t remember. He doesn’t understand time. Although he may have been stubborn and want to get his way before, I don’t think he’s being stubborn or wanting to get his way now. People with dementia can’t reason. They usually react to their anxiety. His reasoner is broken. Please keep us posted. Hugs.

Agree with M1! Ignore the cousin (unless she is willing to provide 24 hour care for your DH)!

A hospital is a horrible place for someone with dementia. Additional moves are likely to bring on negative changes.

I would look very hard at the possibility of bringing your husband home if you can bring in enough care for him.

What does his neurologist say?

Denise, I had to take a not first choice when my partner left the hospital and wasn’t able to move her for a year. Having been through that, I would tell you to have no hesitation to do the best you can for now and then move him if you need to. Yes it’s disruptive but it was by far the best solution for us. My partner remembers nothing of the move now so just do it if you have to and have no qualms about it.