desperately seeking advice for unique situation

Hello everyone, I’m new to this board and am hoping some of you can offer me some advice because I have no idea where to turn. This is all really a lot so I appreciate all of you who take the time to read it.

My aunt and uncle both started showing signs of memory decline approximately 10 years ago. No matter how hard my mother and I tried, we could not get them to go see a neurologist. Finally, 3 years ago, my mom convinced them and took both of them to get checked out. My aunt was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and immediately started on medication. My uncle did slightly better on the memory tests and was told he just had “slow brain function” and to take B12 and exercise and he could possibly improve. Since then, they have both declined significantly. My mom took them both back to the neuro and now my uncle is diagnosed as having Alz as well and was started on medication. My aunt has started to become very verbally abusive with my uncle which just stresses him out and makes his symptoms so much worse. She is also experiencing psychosis from time to time. After seeing them at my mom’s house recently, I am certain that neither of them are keeping up with their hygiene or doing any laundry or any type of cleaning. My mom makes their medicine for them weekly but it keeps coming back with only a few days here and there taken out. They have always been people who secluded themselves from others if possible and they have never been the type of people to have family or guests over to their home. They just didn’t allow it. I was last at their home approximately 15 years ago and things then were messy/cluttered so I can only imagine what it is like now. We have tried talking to both of them that it is time to move in some where that can help them but of course they are both adamantly against it. I think if my aunt got somewhere she would be fine and could be happier but my uncle is convinced there is nothing wrong with him except slight forgetfulness here and there. As soon as he found out it cost a lot of money to go to a facility he immediately shut down and refused to talk anymore and said he would take care of my aunt until she passed away. The trouble is, he doesn’t realize he’s not taking care of her now. He’s not even capable of caring for himself. The money thing is not a new symptom though. They have always refused to spend their money. For example, we live in Central Fl and they never would have an air conditioner put in because they didn’t want the power bill to go up. Now his obsession with not spending a dime has just gone up significantly. Also, it really bothers me because I know there are guns in the house. Many. That is the one thing they would spend money on consistently. My uncle is ex military/police and always thought he needed as many as possible in case the government tried to take them away. My mom took them to the bank the other day because they needed money for groceries (they also have never trusted debit or credit cards) and my mom was floored that they have 60k in their checking account. They have always lived as though they have nothing. So even if they finally agreed to get help they have way too much money to be on Medicaid but not a steady flow of income that would pay for them to be in somewhere very long. They do have one daughter that lives 4 hours away. She is quite successful and could pay to have them taken care of but she has already let it be known she doesn’t want to be involved right now so my mom and I are trying to help as much as we can. I’m scared though. This is stressing my mom out so much I’m afraid I’m going to lose her. She is trying to help any way she can like by making their meds, cooking them food, going to all their appointments with them, etc all while trying to keep her small business afloat. We are both willing to do whatever we can to ensure they are safe and taken care of but we are so limited when we can’t even go into their house. I don’t want anyone to be upset with me, but I can no longer not take more action. I just don’t know what that action needs to be. I know that they cannot take care of themselves and need help either in home or in a facility, but I just don’t know what to do or how to make sure they get the help. They are both suffering and don’t even know it, but I do and I have to help them in some way. All of their doctors, including the neuro, are shocked that they still live alone but never offer any advice about it and we just don’t know what to do. Any help with some or all of this sad, complicated, frustrating situation is greatly appreciated. Thank you all so much.