How to answer DH's questions?

Dio, is it possible to go for a visit or two before the doctor’s appointment? It would seem to me that this first return visit is very fraught with meaning and emotion because of the long interval. Despite what anyone else tells you, some of these things you can’t assess until you lay eyes on him yourself. This is kind of like getting back on the horse when you’ve been thrown. I suspect that after going once, you’ll have more of a sense of how to proceed. And you don’t have to answer every question right off the bat….for some the only answer may be to wait and see. Can someone go with you for this first contact?

I hope that this ends up being a good thing for you. Always best to keep expectations low I know… but I hope anyway.

Gosh, @Dio , I absolutely feel for you. I, too, have not visited DH for some months. In my case, it is because since the last visit (in June) we learned of abusive and possibly illegal behavior that DH had been doing for years. Learning this (from the computer he left behind), was heartbreaking. It made me look back and see a lot of his behavior (pre-dementia) in a different way, which was not good. All this being said, if he were to regain his lucidity, I would feel that I needed to be there, as you do, especially with the neurologist appointment coming up. I think M1 is completely spot on. It will be tough, but try going a few times with another person as a "buffer". Know that I am thinking of you and wishing you peace despite this terribly trying situation.

It would be a miracle if we knew the best way to handle everything.

Unfortunately all we can do is what we think is best at the time.

Do you really need to be present for this visit? Does there really need to be a visit?

What ever, do not feel quilty!!!!

he may not remember if you have visited or not or how long he’s been there. I would keep the answers simple. I’ve been busy, then change the subject. If he asks to go home, tell him when the doctor says so. Did the doctor say that?? If so, get a different doctor. If your husband is in memory care why is he seeing a Neurologist? My husband never saw one after he was admitted. Just his primary who made visits to the facility. I don’t see any need for a telehealth appt. Unless I’m missing something.

That is really sad for you - but I guess it is better than having our loved ones make a scene when we come. My DH has only been in MC for two weeks, with two weeks in the hospital before that for medication management. He is up and down - sometimes he is okay and sometimes he cries and asks when he can come home. There is just nothing good about this disease. I feel like my heart has turned to stone and I am just numb. There are so many things that I miss about having a partner in my life. Hugs to you as you get through this like the rest of us - one day at a time!