Just a story

Just telling the story ... I know it's not uncommon, but also know that none of mom's family or friends want to hear this stuff. So telling people who understand.

A staff member in my mom's room commented on a piece of artwork on her wall. My dad gave it to her as a gift decades ago, and she has always especially liked it. Dad died 14 years ago, and I don't think that mom has mentioned him in at least a year.

When the staff member left, mom asked me, "do you know who made that?" I answered honestly that I don't know the artist. "Daddy-O," she said. (I have never heard her refer to my dad by that name!) Then she went on to say in a conversational tone, "I haven't seen him lately."

I fumbled for a response to this and came up with "yes, he's been away, but we'll see him again." I knew better than to tell her he is dead, but it still took me by surprise. Even though my dad wasn't a frequent topic of conversation since mom's move here, when she did mention him in the past, she knew he had died. Just assumed he had faded in her mind like so many others that she hasn't seen in a while. But I guess she now forgets why she hasn't seen him.

Thanks for "listening." My husband gets it, but other family and friends would try to explain it away. Of course my mom's mind can't be THAT bad ... sigh. Worse, some of them might find it necessary to reorient her to her widowed status. I don't see how that would benefit her.