DH wants to know diagnosis

Paulaw1954 · October 13

my DH keeps asking about his diagnosis and when given facts he denies situation and argues about it. I’ve tried changing the subject but he insists on talking about it. The last two Sat nights started the discussion got annoyed and agitated and went to bed. What am I suppose to say to answer this constant question. He says everyone’s out to get him!

jsps139_ · October 13

I know in the very beginning when my husband was diagnosed, he would ask about it and be worried about it. I would tell him … “you’re not alone … millions of people have memory problems like you … President Reagan had it, Jack Hanna has it, your childhood friend, John, has it etc. Just like those guys, and their wives, worked through it, you and I will do the same. You are healthy and you have a lot of good years ahead of you.”

Those conversations helped I think, and after a few months, he quit asking about it.

blacksparky · October 13

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/225426#Comment_225426

my DW was diagnosed last October with EOAD and she still asks me why did it happen to her. I tell her that I don’t know and give her a big hug. I tell her that now we just have to take each day and do our best to make the most of it. No more looking back or ahead for us. It just breaks my heart to see her go through this. I want her to enjoy the times when she still remembers.

Quilting brings calm · October 14

I just kept telling mom she had old age memory issues. There’s no need to tell him that it’s Alz, dementia or that it’s terminal.

SDianeL · October 14

he’s asking because he’s anxious. Nothing you say will convince him it’s true. I would just tell my husband it was his brain and not use words like dementia or Alzheimer’s. If the doctor prescribed a new medication and he asked what it was for I would say to help your brain. He’s looking for reassurance. Give him a hug and tell him you will be there and you will get through it together. Then give him a treat, or redirect him. He will stop asking eventually. If he’s depressed or agitated talk to his doctor about medications to help.

SDianeL · October 14

look up the word anosognosia.

Carl46 · October 14

My wife calls it "losing my marbles." She doesn't like the word Alzheimer's, probably because she knows it's a fatal disease, but she can live with losing marbles because she knows I help her when she needs it. Sometimes I tell people "We're getting forgetful." No need to get into the loss of executive function, emotional lability, etc.

DH wants to know diagnosis

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