New here and wondering what’s what .

Medric · October 29

Everything has looked like my wife has dementia but I don’t want to believe it . This mornings angry outbursts over nothing made me look on the internet for information and all the boxes got ticked . I know , I know - being a self styled internet doctor and making my own diagnosis is probably barking up the wrong tree but what I read was chilling and eye opening . Do I need an actual diagnosis from an MD to confirm this ? That is never going to happen as she is very averse to doctors and even more so now because of a recent hospitalization and short stay in a care facility for mobility issues . Things she says and does are so unlike anything I’ve ever seen or heard anyone do that it totally bewilders me . She has hit me and she cusses me out over the most trivial things and she is truly angry . This isn’t all the time but at least a couple times a day and then she’s okay for periods . I’ve also read people’s posts here and , once again , the boxes all get ticked . She’s wheelchair bound and the doctors suspect something like leukemia or other blood disease and her time may be short . Could that be something ? So far I can hack this . It bugs me but I seem to be able to shrug it off . This mornings angry outbursts just surprised me and made me wonder if there’s a problem .

M1 · October 29

Welcome to the forum, you have come to a good place for advice and support. You definitely need to tell her docs about the aggressive behavior; even if she's wheelchair bound, this can obviously make caregiving difficult and there are medications that might help. I would also seek clarity on other diagnoses and ask for a hospice evaluation. That may help you decide whether you actually need to pursue a dementia diagnosis or not. Sounds like ongoing open communication with her docs about everything going on is key right now. Don't just let it go, tell them what is happening.

Iris L. · October 29

Read about anosognosia. She's not aware that she has changed and she doesn't know what's going on around her. This is the disease, it is not denial. How old is she? Be aware that there are many common medications that cause disruptions in older adults. Check all of her medications for memory changes and work on decreasing unnecessary meds with her doctors, of course.

Iris

jfkoc · October 29

A large part of the diagnosis process is ruling out causes for what you are noticing. Treatable causes. Please read all you can online about proper protocol and make certain everything is followed.

You will also want to pinpoint the kind of dementia, if that is the result, because treatment is not one size fits all.

Medric · October 29

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/226887#Comment_226887

Thanks for that tip about anosognosia . I’ll read up on that . My wife is 83 and I really don’t think she does know she’s changed . She’s usually very sweet and soft spoken and these episodes of anger are not her at all . She is not on any kind of medications at all right now and has not been for over 15 years .

eaglemom · October 29

I'm glad that you've found us, but equally sorry that you had a reason to search for us. You've received good advice already, so I won't repeat it.

Her anger at you is something that can hard the both of your though. Since you say she's on no medication, if you would be able to get her PCP to prescribe something for this, do you think she would take it? Probably not, am I correct? So you'll have to be VERY creative in hiding it in her food. I know, it sounds awful, but its for the both of you. But that's a step ahead, you don't know if the PCP would even prescribe anything. When she has these outbursts, try to not engage. It's difficult, but walk away. Maybe that will shorten the length of the outburst.

We want to help you both.

eagle

Bill_2001 · October 29

Please inform her doctor that you suspect dementia. Other causes can be tested for, and if found, treated. Things like a UTI for example, can mimic dementia.

Ask that the MMSE (mini mental state exam) be administered. This is a short list of questions and tasks that can reveal problems with executive thinking. Angry outbursts and any physical lashing out certainly needs to be shared with the doctor.

Try to stay positive and work with the doctor. A "diagnosis" can be illusive since so many conditions manifest like dementia. It may take a while before enough patterns emerge to determine if it "is probably" dementia.

Bill_2001

Quilting brings calm · October 30

ask for hospice. She should qualify if she has leukemia and her time is considered short. You can discuss her agitation with her current doctor in the meantime or wait until hospice arrives.

FYI- my mom has been on hospice for two weeks. She has been having severe anxiety and agitation. Last Friday they put her on Seroquel and today they added Ativan. So hospice will help you.

New here and wondering what’s what .

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