Here we go again

Elaine2 · October 30

My LH loves woodworking. He is determined to work on a couple Christmas gifts. He has always been very independent with his projects and never needed assistance. Now I need to help him each step of the way taking my time and even then he can’t follow the directions and instructions or drawings or measurements that we determined, I put notes on the pieces of wood helping him to organize and he erases my notes because he second-guessing our decision. How do I stop him from something he loves but I don’t have the time to guide him each step of the way and it’s challenging, whether he’ll follow through with what we decide? I am frustrated and sad to see he’s lost this ability. This is getting to be a costly habit as wood is expensive.

jfkoc · October 30

I completely understand. It is difficult to rearrange our live to accommodate so much care. The time comes when almost everything is a "together" thing. Then the hard part is convincing our loved one to be part of a team.

Whyzit2 · October 30

My DH was a woodcarver. At some point you are going to have to make his tools go away because he can’t safely use them. Often if you can make his equipment disappear he may forget about it—-out of sight, out of mind. Identify what triggers his desire to do it if you can and see if you can eliminate it. Don’t talk about Christmas or the holidays. Have you considered large piece puzzles or craft kits?

Elaine2 · October 30

He does do puzzles also, but his love is his woodshop. And the woodshop with his tools comprises are entire double garage. I am concerned about the safety measures. I will try and dissuade any wood projects he thinks of in the future.

jfkoc · October 30

Oh, that is outside of my thinking "woodworking". My comments are probably not fitting…

Elaine2 · October 30

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/226983#Comment_226983

The together thing works for me to a certain degree. I am a quilter, so I understand how pieces have to go together, and I can see the big picture. But the mechanics of his tablesaw, chopsaw, joiners, planers, or the like he’s going to have to pull from his memory. Thank you for your comment.

clarinetist · October 31

When my DH wanted to do a woodworking project and could no longer do it on his own, I got woodworking kits made for children and together we made some very ugly birdhouses and toy trucks. But he was very happy with them.

BPS · October 31

I have not dealt with that exactly but my wife used to sew quilts and I could distract her when she was going to start a project that I knew was beyond her abilities, telling her I needed her help with something or I could help later. Could you hide one of the tools at a time and tell him you will find it later or turn the power to the shop off and say you will have an electrician come out. With my wife she kept talking about starting a new project but we never got around to it (she is in memory care but still has mentioned that she thinks she has to make another quilt for one of the grandkids). I don't know but power tools and dementia is a dangerous combination.

harshedbuzz · October 31

@Elaine2

I am so sorry. It is devastating when a LO loses the skills needed to be safe at a life-long hobby be it flying, gun sports, woodworking etc. But this is a hair-on-fire situation.

He needs to be protected from harm. His inability to piece things together is related to visual processing which can include spatial reasoning (As Victoriaredux suggested) which could be tragic.

The workshop issue is a common one and can be tricky to manage as it's a hobby that tends to be on-site and hard to manage. Generally, when something is a visual trigger, you move it like a car when driving is banned. A garage filled with tools is harder. I would install new locks for it to start. Another option would be to cut power off at the circuit breaker to prevent use of the power tools should he get past the locks. I would also remove any associated triggers like woodworking magazines and chatter about the holidays.

HB

KathyBol · November 1

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/226982#Comment_226982

My husband is a woodworker also. He has a large work shop and spends part of everyday "organizing" . Today, he decided to try to make a bank with a PO box door. He has made and sold many of these, but can no longer use the dovetail jig, and doesn't want help. It is so hard to watch and not step in!

Here we go again

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