STAGE 8 - There is no other side of grief...

This site helped me through the years of caregiving my husband. He died 7 weeks ago and I've missed the conversations. I'm so glad I found this thread today. Connecting with a local support group is taking longer than I expected. I realize this is an older thread so if there's another conversation somewhere please let me know.

Any suggestions for books on grief? That was very helpful when my dad died but I can't remember any titles.

Jim Carrey once said: Grief is not just an emotion—it’s an unraveling, a space where something once lived but is now gone. It carves through you, leaving a hollow ache where love once resided.

In the beginning, it feels unbearable, like a wound that will never close. But over time, the raw edges begin to mend. The pain softens, but the imprint remains—a quiet reminder of what once was. The truth is, you never truly "move on." You move with it. The love you had does not disappear; it transforms. It lingers in the echoes of laughter, in the warmth of old memories, in the silent moments where you still reach for what is no longer there. And that’s okay.

Grief is not a burden to be hidden. It is not a weakness to be ashamed of. It is the deepest proof that love existed, that something beautiful once touched your life. So let yourself feel it. Let yourself mourn. Let yourself remember.

There is no timeline, no “right” way to grieve. Some days will be heavy, and some will feel lighter. Some moments will bring unexpected waves of sadness, while others will fill you with gratitude for the love you were lucky enough to experience.

Honor your grief, for it is sacred. It is a testament to the depth of your heart. And in time, through the pain, you will find healing—not because you have forgotten, but because you have learned how to carry both love and loss together

My first husband died of leukemia in 1999. There is no end. The first year was almost unbearable for me. I tried to eradicate it, hate it away, cry it away, pray and beg to anyone who would listen…but you must go through it all, live with it and finally accept and learn how to manage this explosive emotion and come to terms with it. It’s so so hard. This dementia journey I think might be harder. I find my feelings and emotions get all mixed up because of the past grief that’s still present and now this different grief all over again. I never want to stop grieving my first husband. It changed me for the better and taught me valuable life lessons. I speak to him occasionally and reminisce privately cause I could never forget him. Did I move on ? Yes…. But we all know how it’s going to end. No regrets No remorse , it is what it is…. I will move through this too and come out a better person. Every person I’ve lost is a part of me, a part of my heart that will live on forever. Each one had a profound effect on my life. To wish away my grief would be like wishing away my soul. Stand tall and firm with your grief, give it the respect and time it deserves. You will feel it eventually. It took me a very long time. You will feel a lightness, still a hollow hole in your heart but gradually your memories will fill that hole up. And finally, your grief, tho still there in the shadows, will be replaced with profound gratitude.