Memory care concerns

WolverineGirl2 · November 9

My mom has been in memory since 2022. She’s had a moderate decline since going in. Few issues but seems content. Went to visit her Tuesday. I got told the other night they saw blood in moms pull up. Maybe a uti. Head nurse calls me just now and says Dr sees red pimples on mom’s private and red lines and thinks squamous cell carcinoma and I have to find a gyne to take mom. Umm excuse me? How did we go from Tuesday “little blood in her pull up” to “ohh doctor thinks carcinoma”. I’ve been researching 0.06% get vaginal cancer usually from STDS or HIV. I said umm she’s had MRSA before from a sore down there “ohh that could be it. Doctor ordered cream for MONDAY for pain and itching.” After I hung up I was floored Monday??? Give me the damn script I’ll take it in.

I’ve spoke to my brother in law who’s a NP. He said it totally sounds like my Mom has this from sitting in urine and not being changed or wiped. I am livid. Who calls on Friday and 5pm and tells the daughter her mom has cancer??!!!!

SusanB-dil · November 9

Oh! Yikes... Ugh. You've gotta be kidding! Agree, that's nuts.

Sorry you are dealing with that on top of everything else. You didn't have enough to think about? Could you check with her PCP, or the one who has her past medical records? They might have a better clue.

psg712 · November 9

That is so frustrating. I had a recent experience with not being able to get new meds on a weekend too.

Aside from that issue, it would be good to talk with whomever is in charge of direct care staff and ask about how often residents are checked for incontinence and changed. Tell him/her what your BIL said.

A gyn exam is not a bad idea, if your mom can cooperate and tolerate. Gyn providers can evaluate the area of concern and determine appropriate treatment, whether for infection, irritation or heaven forbid, cancer. They can also detect signs of neglect or abuse.

WolverineGirl2 · November 9

thank you both for commenting. It made me feel comfort. I’ve been just straight up worrying all day in between crying spells.
I made an appointment with my mom’s personal pcp. Of course Nov 27th first available. I did send her a message with all the details. She’s been with mom through it all until I placed her. I’m hoping she can help.

H1235 · November 9

It would concern me how much they are flipping all over with this. It’s just a little blood, no it might be cancer, oh she has had mrsa before that must be it- we’ll just give her some cream. Sounds like they have no clue to me. The trusted PCP sounds like a good idea. If it is from setting in urine too long he can give you an unbiased opinion about quality of care and if she is being changed often enough. It’s always something.

WolverineGirl2 · November 10

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/227993#Comment_227993

this! I totally agree with you. Like Tuesday it was a little blood then three days later all these pimples and marks? Like did they just notice it now? I’ve been researching new memory cares all day. Something isn’t right. I strongly believe they have lost a lot of staff and this is a result of her sitting in urine or poop too long! The “lines” are probably scratches from Mom itching. So so upsetting. Got appointment with her established pcp. Thank gosh!

psg712 · November 10

Let us know what the PCP says. This is one of the challenges of care in a facility. You just can't be there 24/7 … which is one reason they are in a facility! But the staff should be able to tell you the plan for incontinence care.

eaglemom · November 10

Oh my goodness, unreal. That head nurse certainly needs to not call you and say things like this. Totally unacceptable and unprofessional, IMO. Was it a doctor that comes to the facility that examined her? But let's not forget about your poor mom, more than likely being in wet pull ups. With any skin irritation I would think it would burn / itch. It's very reasonable for her to then itch, making more irritation marks. What doesn't make sense is a prescription that she won't have until Monday. Is the pharmacy not open all weekend? Even if that is the case, couldn't the doctor have suggested something OTC for her until Monday?

I'm so sorry this happened. I realize you have an appointment with your moms PCP on the 27th. If your schedule allows, I would call the PCP's office every day or two and ask if they've had any cancellations. It never hurts to ask. Be as polite as possible, saying your just concerned for your mom's well being.

Let us know if she receives the cream on Monday and if anything else comes up.

eagle

Anonymousjpl123 · November 10

reading through this it sounds like very careless MC staff gave you unhelpful into. I hope the GP appointment goes ok for your mom. Thankfully she has you as an advocate. Hopefully she is ok, hopefully it iwas just bad info, but no matter what I am glad you are there to make sure she is ok.

WolverineGirl2 · November 13

well Monday came and gone, no call from MC, today no call from MC. Good thing I made an appointment with her private pcp. For a resident they said had cancer, they sure aren’t getting me a recommended obgyn that fast. Smh.

eaglemom · November 16

Did you find out if your mom did receive the cream at least? All of this is very upsetting. How is your mom doing? Is she complaining about anything to you? I'm just curious.

eagle

WolverineGirl2 · November 30

UPDATE: took Mom to the Private PCP on Wednesday. She did AMAZING in the car. First time in two years and she was a CHAMP! Got to the doctors office, Dr took a look and even had to show me….no pimples. No rashes. No red marks. Just a little red marks. She was perfectly fine. I was so very relieved!! Got back to the MC. The director just looked shocked (surprise surprise) and the head nurse “ohhhh that’s wonderful news”. I just looked at her. Needless to say, we talked to an aide when we took Mom downstairs. The aid goes “ohhh those pimples went away about a week after we started the cream. I told the nurse. She must have forgot”.

We are going to start touring new facilities. So much of the run around. On top of that, they couldn’t find her sketchers. Yeah they were found WITH HER NAME SCRATCHED OUT on someone else. Sigh

Thanksgiving gave me so much to be thankful for NO CANCER and Mom is fine!! Praise God!!

psg712 · November 30

So glad she is better! But agree with the search for a new facility. Hope you find a better situation for her.

eaglemom · November 30

Thanks for reporting back in. What a wonderful report for the PCP.

It is probably good to start looking at different facilities. Things can go missing at any facility, you know that. But the lack of communication and the fear they imposed upon you certainly should have been handled differently.

You did have much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, as do I.

eagle

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