How much information to share with DH?

Only you will know how much to divulge/share. I would take cues from your DH's reactions. I was very transparent with my DH because we both needed answers. It took almost a year to finally get a preliminary diagnosis with confirmation after more PetScans. By then he knew his diagnosis but apathy had developed so that he had no empathy or sadness, just fear and anger. He knew/knows it's incurable.

I was honest with my spouse as long as he could understand the answers. After a while he didn't understand any more or was upset by his diagnosis, at which point I stopped, and started giving vague answers like, "You know how doctors are," or, "they're not sure yet."

It would depend on how far along she was at the time. I would have been honest the first time she would have asked, and insured her we would work it out together, but if she asked again I would be much more vague and less open because if she hadn't remembered after the first time there would be no reason to repeat upsetting news over and over. My wife was pretty easy to deal with as long as I didn't argue about her delusions. I am sure there are many others here that have had different experiences.

My husband was diagnosed two years ago. He really didn’t ask many questions. I go with him to his doctors appointments. All he asked me was if he would ever get better. I gently told him no. Eventually he would get worse but he is taking medication to help. Slow some of the progress. He is pretty stable but I keep notebook. By the sofa I write down any changes. I notice so I can share them with his doctor. He doesn’t even realize I do it. You just share as much as you think you should. Give him information but keep it short and sweet.

I don't bring it up. Sometimes I say we're getting forgetful and help each other, which is true, although she is far more forgetful than I. She refers to her dementia as "losing my marbles" and says things like "You're a good guy because you know things and I don't." She hates the word Alzheimer's, however, because she knows what it means. I turned on the Today show the other day, and they were talking about Alzheimer's with clips from a movie about a person with AD and a doctor saying there was nothing to be done for it except at the very early stages. She was distraught, and I changed the channel.

I guess we are doing a lot of not thinking about and enjoying life as much as we can. We always knew we were going to die someday, and that we probably wouldn't die together, so we have spent 57 years enjoying life as much as we could.

When my mom was diagnosed the doctor told her it was dementia. She asked for more information about dementia and what to expect, so I gave it to her. She has anosognosia like many with dementia. So while she knows she has dementia she sees very few symptoms and believes she is in the very very early stages. On bad days she tells me the doctor didn’t know what they were talking about when the diagnosed her (says she doesn’t do good on tests and she was just nervous). I never bring her dementia up in conversation. In my opinion let him know the diagnosis and see where is goes from there, but don’t bring the subject up yourself. I guess it all depends on where he is at, if memory is an issue he may just forget.

I tell almost everything to my wife. I want her to know what is happening to her brain.

Each person is different, so you share what you think is best. My DH readily tells people, sometimes strangers, he has Alzheimer's. At a recent family wedding, we were introduced to people we'll never see again. The first words out of his mouth were, "I have Alzheimer's, so I probably won't remember your name." Many people don't know how to respond to that. The neurologist he has been seeing for over six years at a local medical school has told him he has Alzheimer's and brings it up during every visit. Not too long ago, my DH told me that he has Alzheimer's, but he doesn't have dementia. I responded that Alzheimer's was a form of dementia, and he disagreed, saying he had looked it up on the internet. I haven't used the term "dementia" since with him, and I'll continue to avoid it.

My partner's providers talk to her about her "brain health," and use "memory" a lot. She's had depression for years so they talk about that pretty freely, even though I can tell they're also referring to all the areas where depression and Alzheimers overlap. They say "as we age" a lot, I guess to help her feel like this experience isn't all that uncommon (yikes). She knew the diagnosis when she got it in 2020 and if pressed, probably knows what it is now. She hates that her brain doesn't work right any more (her words). I'm careful not to use the word dementia with her or about her with others; I do say she has Alzheimers when I need to apologise to someone or explain a behavior, because most people have a basic understanding of that.