Apparently dementia can cause Grinchiness

tboard · December 9

DH took down the Christmas tree I put up last week while I was in the shower. He had been complaining about it being up. He took it off the table and put it by the back door. It was a small fake tree. I am so thankful that none of our beautiful ornaments were broken. I put the tree away but left some ornaments out and hung them in my office.

We have spent more than 40 Christmases together and have always put up a Christmas tree. It makes me sad but I know that if it is the worst thing that happens this week it will be a good week.

Merry Christmas.

charley0419 · December 9

you never know what the morning brings

DTSbuddy · December 9

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/71438/apparently-dementia-can-cause-grinchiness

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/230739#Comment_230739

So disappointing. My DH moves everything, constantly, especially anything new. He has no ability to reason or remember. However, when he spots something that seems out of place to him, he puts it in a different place. He does however like to hear me sing with the piano. That is hard to do after finding an apple core under the sofa cushion and a puddle on the rug and arguing with him over the utility of a toilet. Good for you for enjoying the memories associated with the ornaments. I need to dig out pictures of holidays we enjoyed with family and play a few carols and take him outside with a frisbee. I wish you well in making the best of the situation!

Russinator · December 9

My DW hasn't done that one yet; however, she does move things from place to place where they are lost

tboard · December 9

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/230742#Comment_230742

That happens at my house too but when DH puts things away it is usually in the trash. I have to check carefully before trash pick-up day.

White Crane · December 9

I'm sorry this happened but glad none of your precious ornaments were broken. And I'm glad you hung some of them in your office. Now it can be festive and cheerful for you. We never know what a day will bring or what mood our loved one will be in. You seem to be rolling with it even through your sadness. Wishing you a Merry Christmas.

Brenda

Biggles · December 10

I am so sorry this has happened but you made me laugh. He sounds like a naughty elf! My my this disease is hard. I couldn't face the 'family' Christmas tree and all the decorations this year so I got a pop-up and we took the 'family' one 40 years old, to St Vineys to be re-loved by another family. That made me sad, all our memories, but the lady at St Vineys was so beautifully understanding she took a picture of us standing next to the tree for posterity. Again another laugh, we got home I looked at the picture and the tree looked just a little used (as did we) and I realised that it's not the tree that counts but the family it represents. Chin up, hang in there, take care, find an odd solution to whatever is the problem and have a laugh (or cry).

Carl46 · December 10

Dementia destroys everything that makes life worth living, one bite at a time, and it takes the caregivers with it. At least he put the tree by the door instead of upside down in a trash can.

My wife moves things around too. Sometimes she carries my hat and offers it to me every few minutes. I find myself wearing it in the house sometimes, until I find an opportunity to stash it in a closet.

I heard years ago that a honeymoon is a period of adjustment at the start of a marriage, and a marriage is a period of adjustment at the end of the honeymoon. 57 years in, I'm still trying to adapt.

jsps139_ · December 10

Awww … that has to be sad. He no longer appreciates just looking at the Christmas Tree anymore, which means you can’t either. We definitely learn to be completely unselfish when dealing with this disease, don’t we?

I remember in the earlier years, I was working a 500 piece puzzle and it was 2/3 done. I was anxious to get home from work and finish it that evening, only to find that my DH took it apart and put it in the box. I was so disappointed. Even the little things that give us pleasure are taken from us at times.

And we help each other to deal with it by listening and sharing! I love all of you! ❤️❤️

eaglemom · December 10

Oh, I bet you were equally surprised and disappointed. I'm so sorry that happened. I guess the good thing is that the precious ornaments weren't broken.

As caregivers our world is their world - with or without a tree. Or a 2/3's completed puzzle. We adjust to what helps them. In the big scheme of life, I personally think that is the very definition of love on our part. Some days are rough some are smooth, but together you get through together.

Caregiving is difficult. That is a fact, a statement and an entire story in those 3 words: caregiving is difficult.

eagle

annie51 · December 11

So true. I don’t think DH even realizes what Christmas is this year. I put up a few decorations only to make myself happy. Tried to go for a ride to look at the lights in the neighborhood and all I got was grief - why are you going so slow?, you’re going down THAT street? Watch for that car! - took the joy out of it. Then I feel bad that he can’t feel that joy he used to. Trying so hard not to get angry or upset when these things happen but it’s so hard sometimes.

ronda b · December 11

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/230855#Comment_230855

So sounds like something I could of written. All this is sad. I can't seem to get excited about xmas this year. Dh doesn't even acknowledge it is. Just sad.

tboard · December 15

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/230799#Comment_230799

"Dementia destroys everything that makes life worth living, one bite at a time, and it takes the caregivers with it." Yes!

Apparently dementia can cause Grinchiness

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