Memory Care “Incidents”

ceeb · December 19

My mom has been in memory care for two months and has been in three “incidents” so far where other residents grab her (physically) when she’s entering or leaving her room because, in their state, they think my mom’s room is their room or they think she has something of hers, which she doesn’t. After each incident, she seems to have a worsening of her dementia. The facility staff say no one was hurt, and no one was, physically. But each time something like this happens, my mother seems to spiral downwards a bit. Is this common? She just had a particularly nasty encounter that resulted in her briefly forgetting who I am, urinating at night in her walker bag, and being unable to sleep. I think she is frightened and becoming more disoriented. I took her home with me for a few days after the incident, but she still had all these problems. My brother has her now, but she will be back in memory care soon. Should we have taken her to our homes? We are planning a family meeting with staff after she returns. Thoughts? Thanks.

Emily 123 · December 20

I don't think they are. I'd take a look at her patient bill of rights so you can address the specific issues. I think it's good they've told you, but it seems unusual to me. I'd have a backup facility in mind in case you address this and it doesn't change, or perhaps you find a place you like better and give your 30 day notice.

https://www.alz.org/media/Documents/alzheimers-dementia-know-care-rights-in-facility-ts.pdf

ceeb · December 20

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/231543#Comment_231543

Thank you for the link and information. I’ll pull out the appropriate paperwork now in preparation for the family meeting with staff.

Emily 123 · December 20

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/231550#Comment_231550

I think each state also has their own list for nursing homes/care facilities. I'd check her care plan since there's likely a section that addresses physical safety as well.

Quilting brings calm · December 20

Just a few questions: Were these incidents witnessed by the staff or a visitor? Or were they self-reported by her? Are you sure they actually happened? Your mom is 92- was she grabbed or was someone just gently touching her? Gentle touching can seem like grabbing to a 92 year old.

A discussion for Dec 3 mentions her staying in your homes, just as you mention it today. Has she figured out that telling you of an incident means you take her out of MC for a few days? If she’s only been there for two months and she’s come and gone between you and your brother’s homes a few times, is she actually getting a chance to adjust to it? All this movement can make her symptoms worse.

You’ve reported ( in your other discussions) that your mom has moderate dementia, and some of her symptoms. Today’s increase in symptoms could be decline, too much movement, or they could be a UTI. Might be a good idea to have her urine tested.

harshedbuzz · December 20

I'm sorry you are dealing with this.

Have you or a staff member witnessed these incidents? They might not be reported accurately. Is it the same individual? Often, in a MCF, the residents prone to acting in such a manner are known to staff and kept close to avoid such things. I was "attacked" by a woman at dad's place just walking down the hall— she had 2 aides at arm's length but was quicker than they were.

It's also possible the downturn in skills you are noting is strictly due to disease progression. It's human nature, I think, to want to ascribe a reason for decline as if identifying the reason gives one an option to avoid a steeper decline.

Another thought is that, for some PWD, any move results in a noticeable decline in cognition and skills that may— or may not— be permanent. If your mom is a PWD sensitive to changes in her routine, moving her between 2 homes and a MCF could hasten decline.

HB

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