behavioral advice needed

Hi, A few months ago my husband and I joined a state funded Medicaid/Medicare association that provides day care, OT, PT, medical care, etc. So far it's been great for both of us as he is an 85 yr old with ALZ and I am his wife/caretaker, 75 year old with physical disabilities. We go 3 days a week to the daycare to give me a chance to socialize with others while the aides there watch over my husband to give me a break. The goal is for me to go 2 days a week and him to go 3, giving me a "day off". We haven't started this yet as he still spends most of his time following me around for security, but he's been getting better. So when I got sick last week I asked him to go without me and he was happy to go, but then he came home very upset and said he was never going again. This was on Thursday and come the following Monday he still remembered this and refused to go alone. For him to remember for that many days just showed how upset he was as he doesn't remember anything from moment to moment. He also can't express himself very well anymore but the best I could tell he had been yelled at for undoing his seat belt numerous times on the bus ride home and had gotten out of his seat while the driver and assistant were unloading folks in wheelchairs. Apparently the female assistant was especially nasty with him. Upon going to the center after I was feeling better I asked the driver what had happened and was told that my husband had undone his seatbelt about 4 times which I understand is a safety issue and that he had put up his hands as if to push the assistant. I know he tries to undo the seatbelt but its totally not like him to push anyone. I talked to our assigned social worker and asked her to look into it…she was told not that he tried to push anyone but that he had put his arm around the assistant and tried to kiss her….this I believe as he is very flirtatious. I know the assistant and she can be very unkind and abrupt. I also know that they can't have him behaving this way due to safety issues. But I also know that he can't control his behavior as all the filters are gone and he won't remember any corrections I tell him from one minute to the next. Both our social worker and I don't want me to give up being able to stay home one of our days but how do we accomplish this? I've asked for a meeting after the first of the year with me, the social worker, the transportation manager and the driver and assistant involved. In the meantime I'm trying to come up with creative ways to resolve this. The social worker said they can't put a locking seatbelt on him as that is restraining but they thought they might try putting a blanket around him to keep him from undoing it. I don't see that working as he can undo the blanket and will want to as it will be too hot and uncomfortable. I am looking for fidget items that he might be willing to use and not lose to distract him while on the bus but am not expecting this to be very helpful.

So does anyone have any input or suggestions? I'm open to any and all ideas. Yes I also believe the association should be more responsible but am not counting on that. I know they are short handed but don't completely agree that is an excuse for people who don't know how to speak to ALZ participants yet do this job.

Thanks for any input!!