Hoarding

Hi Annen and welcome.  It's good to have you here.  My DH suffers from FTD and hoarding is very common.  His specialty at the moment is empty food containers.  I find them stashed away in some of the strangest places.  And, when he's not looking, I pull them out of his hiding places and throw them away.  Since his memory is poor, he doesn't remember stashing them there in the first place.  So, he doesn't realize I'm doing this.

Since your DH is retrieving things from the donation bags, you may have to find a creative way to get around this.  If it's possible, maybe hide the donation bags from him.  Or, maybe you could keep a separate donation bag for the things he would likely retrieve.  Just a thought or two.

I suspected I'd have to sneak around to help clean up this place,  my goodness it's getting where I can barely walk around. My DH has 3 file cabinets full of stuff, which he's decided to empty and pile everywhere. At one point he had decided to try to organize but he never finished and now it's left to me to figure out. Thank you for this post, so helpful! Not that I have time to add this task but maybe if I tackle a small amount a few times a week I can get some breathing room back.

I understand your frustration and concern regarding your husband's hoarding behavior. It's true that hoarding can be a common symptom of Alzheimer's disease and other forms of dementia, as individuals may cling to possessions as a way to maintain a sense of control and familiarity in an increasingly confusing world.In your husband's case, it's possible that his hoarding behavior is also influenced by his experiences during WWII and childhood in Budapest. The trauma of deprivation and malnutrition may have left a lasting impact on his attachment to food and household items, even if they seem useless to you.

Rather than focusing on getting rid of these items immediately, it might be more helpful to try to understand the underlying reasons behind his hoarding behavior.

As for the difficulty in donating items, it's essential to be patient and understanding when dealing with a loved one who is hoarding.

Pressuring or forcing your husband to part with his possessions may only lead to frustration and resistance on both sides.

Here are some strategies that have worked for other caregivers in similar situations:

Designate a specific storage area for hoarded items, making it easier to keep the rest of the house clutter-free.

Encourage your husband to donate items gradually, one at a time, rather than insisting on donating large quantities at once.

Acknowledge and validate his feelings about the items he's hoarding, while also gently expressing your concerns about safety and living space.

Focus on creating a safe and comfortable living environment that minimizes clutter and tripping hazards while still accommodating your husband's attachment to certain possessions.

Remember, it's essential to prioritize your own well-being as you care for your husband. Seek support from other caregivers, family members, or professional resources when needed, and don't hesitate to lean on this community for advice and understanding.

Take care, and know that you're not alone in navigating this challenging aspect of caregiving.

These sound prudent and useful. It doesn't sound like a problem. Being prepared and having extra food and items during this time of inflation is not a bad idea.

Not like our father's stupid toy collections. He has boxes of collectables. Comic books, videogames, VHS movies. Everything you would find in an 80's and 90's videogame store. You could roll out the garage door and BAM! Retro store. Complete garbage. Nobody reads comics anymore. Marvel and DC are gay and woke now. Videogames are digital. You download them now. Movies are streaming.

Slowly we have been taking this junk and giving it away on Craigslist or burning it. Mostly burning it in the back since you have a culture of "collectors". Yeah! They are the worst. They actually want me to take video games apart to photo them and "prove they are real". It's way easier to trash this crap.