Vascular dementia

Welcome to the forum, though I'm sorry for what you're facing. Yes, medication might help, and you need to report the aggression immediately to his doctors. Specifically, the atypical antipsychotics like Seroquel and Risperdal can help, but they take a bit to kick in. Take steps to insure your safety also: identify a room in your home that you can lock yourself in if necessary; keep your cell phone with you at all times; and put a bag with essentials in your car so that if you need to leave, you can do so immediately. Do not hesitate to call 911 or take him to the emergency room if you need to, sometimes hospitalization is necessary for stabilization on medication. Threats of violence against me are what landed my partner in the hospital and ultimately in memory care.

Hi, I'm so sorry you are experiencing this. My mom was diagnosed with vascular dementia 10 years ago at age 87. She's had a stair step decline as described above. So far, in all this time she has not shown any aggression which I'm so thankful for. However I know with other stuff that it's just so weird and scary to have someone that you know loves you, treat you differently all of a sudden. I agree, any aggression should not be ignored. There are medications for everything so you should talk to your doctor. Keep yourself safe and plan ahead even if you feel like there's no way you'll need a safe room etc., there's no harm in making sure you do even if you never have to use it.

I also recommend starting a log if you haven't done so already. I was so resistant to do this for so long and when my mom moved in August at age 97 to IL, my husband urged me again to start a log of what's going on with her, who visits, dr. appts, drastic mood changes, medication changes and any side effects noted after the changes. Thoughts and feelings that I have about anything. Already this log has helped me nail down a medication that was making her dizzy. The dr wanted to take her off of other medications that she'd been taking forever and had us practically forcing her to drink more water than she could hold and as soon as I took her off of this one newly prescribed medication, she was back to her not dizzy self. I did work with the doctor to do this but she was resistant at first.

Hi Siobhan, You might get more 'eyes on' if you look for the yellow 'New Discussion' button at the upper right side of the page and post your question there, so that more folks can weigh in and give you support. Caregiver burnout is very real. Dementia caregiving requires 24/7 vigilance. Unless you're doing it, it's hard to understand how draining it can be. There's nothing wimpy about what you're doing.