Feel like I’m becoming reclusive

Oh yes i totally relate to this. I am beginning to feel so isolated and I am fighting it but I can feel my strength running out. Everything is becoming so hard, just to get dressed and then get into the car, to figure out where to go and then it sweeps over me, why bother ? But I push myself and gently coaxe my DH and puppy. I’m so tired but I don’t want to sleep during the day, I want to pursue my sewing, my reading, my writing and painting to me it’s vital to keep something going, but I’m so tired. My DH also won’t tolerate caregiver’s or day care and isn’t really happy if our daughter comes here. It’s so hard and I wonder if I will ever be able to mix again, laugh again or think clearly again.

I feel the same way…just want to avoid everyone and can't imagine laughing and being happy ever again. I worry about losing my vocabulary…can't read a book because DH is jealous of the time I would spend on something other than him (this has been the case for years and years). His constant negativity has turned me into a toxic, sad person that I can't imagine anyone wanting to be around. I have given up painting in the daytime because he can't handle my 'selfishness' and always plan to go into my studio at night after he goes to bed, but like Biggles, I am just so tired. I dream of just jumping into the car and going grocery shopping without it being the ordeal that it has become. I think I need to start taking drugs!

Same, though my DW is most likely in Stage 5. Very, very hard holiday season for us. She's more clingy and confused. I had my best friend visit us over the holiday, who my DW loves and trusts. After day 2, my DW said we never spend any time together anymore and I shouldn't have friends visit anymore. Sigh.

Though I've incorporated a lot of sitting around time watching television I don't like with DW, I have most certainly not adjusted to the life of a hermit. I'm only 58 and have always had a lot of energy. To sit day after day remains very difficult to me.

Hang in there, my fellow travelers. We'll find our way somehow.

I know what you’re feeling. I know that socialization is good for PWD’s but every social situation puts me on edge, not knowing what DH will say or do. So I maybe tend to be more reclusive than I used to be because of that. But the day to day just the two of us is so boring and monotonous. Jigsaw puzzles…the same ones over and over, a few of his favorite movies…the same ones over and over, bike rides…the same route day after day, sometimes 2 or 3 times a day, because that’s where he wants to go (at least I’m getting some exercise!). So I hope that this reclusive life will not become my new norm when this is all over - we had so many plans when I retired, so many places to travel to…

Ditto…I am dying a slow death of boredom, but it is better than the anxiety of trying to do anything.

Good timing for your post (OP). I can't take DH anywhere either. He either refuses to change his clothing or put on anything but sweats, he won't cut his hair or trim his beard, and in places like the grocery store he likes to insert himself into other people's conversations. Some of his own family won't socialize with him because he says insulting things which he thinks are funny. My family is hundreds of miles away and want me to come see them but traveling with him would be more stressful than it's worth. My only socialization right now is talking to a few long distance friends on the phone. I remember a decade ago having a social circle, going out to eat with girlfriends. having people over…so, yes, this situation has changed my life a lot.