APHASIA the sadness of not being able to communicate

Biggles · February 11

My DH is stage 5 or 6 dementia with very advanced APHASIA. Within himself and between us we are very happy but it’s so sad we often only communicate by touch, smiles and often single words. He was always a great talker and during the night or early morning he will have a great conversation with me and I often can’t understand what he is saying. Sometimes he can be very upset with something and can’t tell me, it makes me cry.
Is anyone out there facing the same issues, how to gently manage this.

SDianeL · February 11

so sorry. Yes it’s very common. I would just nod and make sounds and try to guess what he wanted. Try to remain calm. They pick up on your feelings. We tried speech therapy but it didn’t help.

SDianeL · February 11

https://www.helpinghandshomecare.co.uk/care-advice/how-to-help-someone-with-aphasia-and-dementia/

Doingitalone · February 11

I'm beginning to have the same problem with my LO. It's hard not being able to carry on a conversation anymore. I just try to guess, nod my head or divert to something else.

Karen711 · February 11

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/72247/aphasia-the-sadness-of-not-being-able-to-communicate

Hi Biggles- sorry you’re going through this! We are going through a similar thing. My wife is not yet as far along as your husband, but close. A fair amount of the time she can still express her ideas and make sense. But when she can’t It is very frustrating because she knows very well what she wants to say but can’t get the right words out. The thing is, she’ll keep trying to get an idea across and wants me to help figure out what she’s trying to say. So I guess. Sometimes I tell her I need a different clue. And she’ll try to give me another set of words or descriptions. Much of the time I get enough hints and put together enough context that I can figure it out. When I get it right she’s appreciative, but sometimes it’s too frustrating and she gets angry with me for not getting it right. I know these days of getting it right are numbered. I dread the guessing game. Sometimes I’d prefer to just say yes, uh-huh and just move on, but that would mean I have to turn my back on her and walk away, and that I will not do. Look forward to others answers.
Best Wishes,

Karen

Mint · February 11

Biggle I’m sorry you’re having this struggle. I do not have this particular struggle with my mother yet. Sending you a soft virtual hug. I can tell you love him so much.

Biggles · February 12

Thankyou for all your comments and insights, it’s nice to know that I’m not alone. It’s so awful, when I’m not tired I can cope quite well but today i’m tired DH was up on the hour from 2am then insisted there was someone strange in the house and I had to get up at 5am.

Chammer · February 13

@Karen711 since your DW is still able to communicate a concept w cueing, would she be able to use a communication board w your assistance?

Chammer · February 13

@Biggles life always looks better to me when I'm not tired. Hoping you get some much needed rest.

Karen711 · February 14

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/236250#Comment_236250

Hi Chammer- thanks for the good thought! So, she’s very functional when it comes to ADLs, and can still do other basic tasks around the house, laundry, sometimes dishes type tasks. And if she’s trying to describe something having to do with anything in the house then I can ask her to show me what she’s talking about.
She has the most trouble when she’s trying to convey a memory about a friend, or friends name or a place we’ve been, or some activity we’ve done together , or something that’s happened recently in our neighborhood- that type of thing. I have thought it would be good to create a set of flash cards with friends names on them, that might help (if she didn’t get too POed about it (anosognosia). But I think it would be hard to create a set with actual past events or circumstances, they are infinite.

Appreciate your thought!!

APHASIA the sadness of not being able to communicate

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Biggle I’m sorry you’re having this struggle. I do not have this particular struggle with my mother yet. Sending you a soft virtual hug. I can tell you love him so much.

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