How to tell your teenagers

Not exactly in your shoes but my wife was diagnosed at age 48 and her daughter age 22 certainly knew something was wrong. We went through a year of testing, ruling out a tumor, blood disease, other ailments and by the end she was well aware we were seeking an answer. When the diagnoses came forward while devastating to all it also gave us a way to rally as a family. Your children may have differing levels of acknowledgment already happening. And it may be a conversation they are wanting to have with you and your husband. Conversations that are both with dad present and without dad present will need to occur. I tried not to give more information than she was ready to hear and it has been a difficult few months finding our new norm. I have also had to warn about researching dementia through less than helpful social media. (Like telling her mom will die in 2 years). And as we have included extended family and close friends in the diagnoses they have been able to fill in some for the roles mom can no longer do. I think with early onset if you have any extended family and friends it is a way they can help. You have a lot on your plate with 3 children. You already know the differences within each of your children so don't forget they will each have their own way of coping and grieving. And lastly, don't forget to take care of yourself and check in here often. There is a large trove of knowledge, good advice, and friendship.

It's a hard conversation to have but an important one. My DH who also has EO and I are in our 40's with two teenagers and one elementary school age kid. When we told the teens we were as honest and straightforward as we could be since kids are great at filling in any blanks in information with what's usually the worst case scenario they can think of. One of the biggest reasons we told them was because DH was getting ready to start the bi-weekly infusions and we didn't know how he would react. It understandably took the younger of the teens a bit longer to process everything and at first he was confused thinking that the infusions would treat and "cure" DH like someone receiving chemotherapy. While in some ways I feel bad like I'm going behind DH back or something I do check in with the teens when Dad's not around. One of the hardest things so far has been the subtle personality changes and DH lowered tolerance for "shenanigans" (to put it politely) and as we all know that's what teens excell at. So at least for us, one of the things I try to check in and remind them is that while it's hard to not take it personally for lack of a better way to say it if Dad's reaction at times seems out of context. I know that's probably not the best thing or way to handle things but we're all working together to try to find healthy ways to cope.