Did I Over React?

Dmarcotte · February 24

Hello All - I haven't posted here for several months but wanted to check in as I got such great advice last time.

My DH had a massive shift in personality last year that lasted for about 10 months. He became angry, with explosive outbursts and was emotionally unstable. I became very concerned that it was some form of dementia as that runs in his family.

However, those symptoms have significantly reduced and I am starting to second guess myself.

He is still showing some loss of executive function (he can't have a conversation if he is doing anything else like using the microwave) He often forgets where he puts things and frequently accuses me of moving them.

None of his symptoms have significantly impacted his life yet, but….

Can stress cause dementia to 'flare' up and then when the stress goes away the symptoms go away?

I haven't been able to find any information on this and his doctor is pretty useless.

Thanks for any help or guidance you can give.

Dio · February 24

Whether it's dementia or not, only various tests can help determine. I personally believe stress can cause these dementia-like symptoms to flare up, but whether the condition is due to an underlying dementia neural causation or a psychological one, we don't know. Has he seen doctors, psychiatrists, neurologists? It's best if you start with his primary care physician and go from there.

Carl46 · February 25

Stress definitely can cause irritability and difficulty concentrating. Soldiers, firefighters, and others in similarly stressful occupations practice, because in circumstances of extreme stress they will be largely unable to reason and will do what they have practiced (take cover, put on fire helmet).

How old is your husband? I am 78 and have to use memory joggers to get things done. I put things in the same place so I can find them. I think that is normal for age, and not a sign of dementia.

SDianeL · February 25

the behaviors you list could be signs of cognitive impairment. But you won’t know unless he’s tested. If he is in early stages his personality changes and agitation could be caused by dementia. My husband knew something was happening and he would get frustrated and upset. When I tried to help he would get angry. I would request a referral to a neurologist. Make a list of his behaviors and send them to all doctors before visits. Do not show the list to him. He won’t believe you if he has cognitive issues. When my husband was diagnosed I thought it wasn’t affecting his life yet but after testing I realized it was. The doctor told me he should not be driving. The only thing I noticed was he was driving very slowly. Please keep us posted.

wose · February 25

I was/am in a similar situation with my hubby. I’m now thinking maybe it is vascular dementia. I’m having such a hard time accepting a dementia diagnosis because he “flip-flopped” so many times, I thought I was imagining things. My hubby had a vascular lung event that has since resolved itself as he is asymptomatic. After much research myself, I believe this event that happened in 2018 is what started this dementia cycle perhaps due to undetectable and very small mini strokes. His symptoms were text book vascular dementia even tho none of his drs suggested such. No meds helped and he was taking Zoloft for apathy/depression but when he found out about the pill he won’t take it anymore. Now that I’m trying really hard not to agitate, his symptoms have been a bit better. But the damage is done and the type doesn’t seem to matter much. He has zero common sense, empathy and doesn’t really care about anyone or anything. He can perform all of his Adl’s tho like brushing teeth, taking pills, pouring a glass of milk and operating the tv. I swear people think I’m nuts jumping the gun with him but then out of the blue he’ll say or do things so out of the ordinary that will confirm the fact he is just not right. I still catch myself thinking I’m overreacting but I now know I’m not… but I didn’t think that way in the beginning. Sometimes it’s so slow and the PWD is super good at covering as is my hubby. It’s taken me very long to accept, not even sure I’m there yet. What I do know is he can’t take care of himself and I’m the only one, so onward we go into the land of uncertainty. I hope in your case it’s only stress. Stress surely could bring on all kinds of things, even dementia symptoms. Unfortunately it’s the uncertainty that can drive you bonkers. You have to be your advocate and his. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I wish I had some definitive answer for you. Sending positive thoughts hugs💕💙

Dmarcotte · February 25

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/237146#Comment_237146

He has been to see his gp - who dismissed the issues I listed for him. I know we need to get in to see a specialist, but am working on getting all of the legal papers taken care of first. One step at a time.

Dmarcotte · February 25

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/237214#Comment_237214

Thank you so much for your kind words. I think it can be particularly difficult for women as our concerns may not be taken seriously. I know that something is just not right. While he is more emotionally stable right now I see that any added stress sends him back to a bad place.

I guess I just wanted to hear that I haven't lost my mind. I will continue to monitor him, get our financial and legal papers in order and then tackle the problem of getting him to agree to see a specialist.

He doesn't think anything is wrong and will fight me on it so I want to be sure everything else I need him to cooperate with is already done.

God Bless.

Dmarcotte · February 25

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/237191#Comment_237191

My husband is only 62 years old and he does not have a stressful job. That was part of what is so concerning - he loves what he does for a living, but business was very busy last year. We were also busy every night all summer long building raised garden beds. But we have done summer landscaping projects every year for the last 25 years - so again not a new thing.

He just couldn't manage the competing priorities and figuring out what needed to be done in what order. He would get mad and stay that way for weeks at a time.

Bunny whisperer · February 25

Dmarcotte,

Over 10 years ago I went through the same issues with my hubby and his doctor dismissed it as stress from his job, but there was more than just stress from his job. We finally got a diagnoses of early onset alzheimers ( he was 59 at that time) a little over 7 years ago. Just keep seeking answers even if you have to switch doctors. Praying you get the answers you need.

jehjeh · February 27

TThe Change in personality reminds me of something my DH went through last year. For months, I had to walk on eggshells because I never knew what would set him off. Sometimes he would call me from the other room and I knew from the tone of his voice that he was angry about something. I usually never knew what but the anger was always directed at me. Somehow he would get around to accusing me of having a boyfriend, our marriage was over, how could I do this to him? Sometimes there were tears because he was so brokenhearted. Once, he swung his walker at me and when he remembered the next day he was mortified at the thought of hurting me. Today, he's a completely different person. He tells me multiple times a day that he loves me, I'm beautiful, he's grateful for any little thing i do for him...

I hope the other hubby never returns but I'm not convinced he won't. Everything about this disease is so unpredictable. I hope your LO passes through this phase (if that's what it is) quickly.

Did I Over React?

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