Vascular Dementia

Welcome, and I’m so sorry you need to be here. My husband on occasion doesn’t know who I am either, and I know how heartbreaking that can be. You will find you are not alone in any of this; you have come to the right place to ask questions and find fellowship with others also going through this caregiving experience. If you click on ‘groups’ above on the right, you’ll find one for “New Caregiver Help”. This is a good place to start for additional information.

@Judson21

It's pretty common for a PWD's memories to be last-in-first-out, not that that makes being on the receiving end any easier on your heart. This can make caregiving harder around hygiene issues or lead to inappropriate behavior is a wife mistakes her son for a spouse.

Dad sort of time-traveled in his dementia. He married and a father at a young age and did know mom and me although he regularly commented on how old mom looked. He referred to my husband of over 30 years as "that guy Harshed is shacking up with" and once confused his urologist (the son of Japanese immigrants) for my son who looks rather like Ed Sheeran.

The leader of our support group once suggested introducing herself to a woman whose husband could no longer recall who she was. She said that you should announce yourself as you care for him— if your serving lunch you might say something like "look what your loving wife made for you".

HB

I'm sorry you are experiencing this but you are not alone. My DH is 72 and diagnosed with mixed/vascular dementia last year although he'd been been having some signs for years. When we married, he was 41, first marriage. This summer he "lost" the fact that we are married and have been for over 30 years and living together in the same house. He knows we're married and he loves me but doesn't consistently recall all of those years. Honestly, he's a more even-keeled, pleasant guy than he used to be. It's impossible to understand, but his family and friends have assured him it's all true, he is married. He then asks why nobody told him.

welcome. We understand how it hurts. It’s like a kick in the gut. My husband thought my daughter was me. Although they may not remember your name or that you are married , I believe that they know they love you and that you love them. We made picture books for my DH and wrote our names and relationship on each of the pictures.

One day this past week my DW did not know who I was and played 20 questions with me trying to figure out who I was. The next day she knew who I was. Does this happen where one day they know you and the next they don't until they gradually forget who you are?