Moment of Being Overwhelmed with WHY?

WIGO23 · March 27

Please no advice! Just a listening ear is what I need.

I am sitting at a Panera alone with an iced tea. I fled our home—literally—-a bit ago because I could not take another moment of being in the presence of DH with mild cognitive impairment from ALZ. I feel utterly alone in this moment and overwhelmed. I have no one to talk to that would understand. It occurred to me that if I posted here, strangers would understand. Maybe just admitting I am overwhelmed will help release some of the negative emotions spinning through me.

Yesterday DH developed a minor health issue, a muscle strain. For two days straight he has repeatedly asked me why he hurts, why does he have to rest, why can’t he go for walks—-WHY WHY WHY? I know the reason he repeats but it has gotten on my last nerve. I had to get some respite. I left him alone, something I rarely do. I don’t want to go back. I will, of course, but every bit of my self preservation says, “sit right here forever and drink iced tea”.😔

CindyBum · March 27

{{{hugs}}}

We understand. Hang in there.

jfkoc · March 27

understood…..

RetiredTeacher · March 27

It is safe to post here. Your feelings are real and raw and we do understand!! Post here whenever you feel like being heard. We hear you and will support you. Drink your tea, self-preservation is important! We care about you.

Russinator · March 27

((HUGS))

Gator1976 · March 27

I am new to this but there is a word others use, “redirect”. That’s what you need to do. I am signed up for 3 different groups to learn as much as I can about how to handle these situations quickly. You may want to go on the internet and type in:

How do you redirect a person with Alzheimer’s disease.

See what comes up, it should give you some ideas.
(((((H))))

cat911 · March 27

Thank you for posting, now, I know someone else has those temptations to run away from home….hang in there, my friend.

White Crane · March 27

Sending big hugs and understanding.

Mint · March 27

sending a virtual hug

charley0419 · March 27

I feel for you we all do , matter of fact I just picked up meds for her with her now can find where she put , I did get annoyed now my night will be hell , my fault. Just found meds. Serenity NOW

ronda b · March 28

Hugs

Anna2022 · March 28

I totally understand! We all understand. Sending you strength and support!

Biggles · March 28

So alone, so isolated, so no one really cares and no one understands (this site excepted) and because this is a safe site my next debilitating challenge is our two wonderful adult children have just found out they were conceived by IVFbydonor and I am in agony and of course cannot talk to the one person I need to. I understand your desperation.

SDianeL · March 28

💜

Persuasion · March 28

WIGO23, I understand you so well. Thank you for posting.

Carl46 · March 28

I don't blame you a bit, WIG. Enjoy your tea.

trottingalong · March 28

A couple of days ago I felt the same. I drove to the beach, rolled the windows down while watching and listening to the waves crashing amongst the rocks. I hope you are feeling a bit better after your brief escape.

Jgirl57 · March 28

I hope you feel better after writing your post. It is extremely overwhelming!!!!(((HUGS)))

Dio · March 28

Glad you are safe at Panera and hydrating with iced tea. We get you. We were you, and still are, some of us anyway. Having a moment away helps. Solitude helps. Stay safe.

Bridge4 · March 28

WIG, thanks for sharing. Hope the temporary escape and the venting have been therapeutic. A great thing about this site is that so many of us are traveling similar pathways. Your note helps normalize what so many of us are feeling.

Chris20cm · March 28

I understand completely. DW is a question machine. All day, every day, what month is it? What time is it? How old am I? Where are you? What are you doing? Where is my purse? Where is my phone? Did we have breakfast? Where are we going? Who is the president? Is my brother still alive? Is Elvis gone? Is Willie Nelson gone?

The shadowing drives me nuts. Severe separation anxiety.

marier · March 28

Hugs to you! I have "run away" multiple times.

annie51 · March 28

This site is a great place to vent to people who totally understand. I wish I could leave my DH alone, but I can’t. I feel so much like escaping sometimes. I feel like I’m very irrelevant right now - nothing I say or feel is important anymore I this relationship.

Hugs to you!

ladyzetta · March 28

Take a rest, enjoy your ice tea, we all understand. I'm sending 🫂 hugs your way. Hugs Zetta

CampCarol · March 28

That was me a few days ago at Starbucks, getting a ‘sweet treat’ coffee. I just had to run away from his rehab facility for a few and regroup. You are not alone, we all get it. Sending a virtual hug 🤗

deemac13 · March 29

oh I feel you. I can not leave DH alone for long. I have 2 cameras in the house. from 1 I can see all 3 exits and most importantly the kitchen. Enjoy your tea and your time.

cdgbdr · March 29

I still work and have taken days off, sat at Panera to catch up on my stuff and keep the companion with DH. I understand!

I also get up at 5 and sit upstairs in solitude until he wakes up. I have to have quiet time!

Anna2022 · March 29

I get up early, sometimes 4:30am or 5 in order to have undisturbed quiet time. It's proven to be more restorative than sleep!

Maru · March 29

Understand. My DH, who is probably somewhere shy of stage 4, developed a rash after being on the Exelon

Moment of Being Overwhelmed with WHY?

WIGO23

Mar 27, 2025

Please no advice! Just a listening ear is what I need.
I am sitting at a Panera alone with an iced tea. I fled our home—literally—-a bit ago because I could not take another moment of being in the presence of DH with mild cognitive impairment from ALZ. I feel utterly alone in this moment and overwhelmed. I have no one to talk to that would understand. It occurred to me that if I posted here, strangers would understand. Maybe just admitting I am overwhelmed will help release some of the negative emotions spinning through me.
Yesterday DH developed a minor health issue, a muscle strain. For two days straight he has repeatedly asked me why he hurts, why does he have to rest, why can’t he go for walks—-WHY WHY WHY? I know the reason he repeats but it has gotten on my last nerve. I had to get some respite. I left him alone, something I rarely do. I don’t want to go back. I will, of course, but every bit of my self preservation says, “sit right here forever and drink iced tea”.😔

Understand. DH, who is somewhere shy of stage 4, developed a rash from being on Exelon patch. That was about 4 months ago. Ever since then, he itches everywhere (no rash, no apparent allergy,etc) and has complained about it non-stop. I think something got stuck in his brain. Real or imagined, it makes him miserable at times. There have been times when I wanted to scream. Actually, I never thought about going to Panera's to excape. I'll keep that in mind. It has been helpful to me to remind myself that DH cannot help himself. I am slowly learning to be more patient, kinder and calmer.

Abby627 · April 1

Please read The 36-Hour Day. It has helped me so much. As much as we love our spouses, it gets almost unbearable at times. We are all in the same boat.

Pat Coughlin · April 1

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/239400#Comment_239400

We live in a residence for elderly. Breakfast time is also socialization time. The men who share my table have lost their wives. I ask general questions from time to time, but it comforts me to look at them and realize they went through what I am experiencing and found peace.

Moment of Being Overwhelmed with WHY?

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