Wife called police on me

welden · April 20

My wife, who has Alzheimer’s, called the police on me this morning while I was out. Our daughter managed to explain the situation to them on the phone and now my wife seems to have forgotten the whole episode. So far no one has come to the house. My wife has forgotten who I am several times now. I don’t know what to do, and am looking for any advice.

Arrowhead · April 20

My wife forgot who I was very early in her journey. Sometimes it did not make a difference and sometimes it did. I'm sorry, but there's nothing you can do about it. Just like everything else about dementia, the problem is not with the patient, but with their deteriorating brain. Always remember to not take anything she says or does personally.

SusanB-dil · April 21

Can you disappear the phone?

Sorry you are dealing with that.

SDianeL · April 21

was your wife alone when she called? It may be time to restrict her ability to use the phone. She could fall victim to scammers. If you haven’t done so, please read the book “The 36 Hour Day” which helped me after my husbands diagnosis. Also search online for Tam Cummings videos on YouTube l arm all you can so you can help her. Come here often for info and support.

Bridge4 · April 21

You can register with local police and 9-1-1 agencies in advance so if and when your PWD calls, the police have advanced notice of the situation, including details like pets in the home or health conditions for other family members. I used to worry about my DW calling and creating a confusing or dangerous situation, but now I know they will arrive better informed.

easy23 · April 21

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/241339#Comment_241339

I registered my husband with the police and he did call them. They showed up completely unaware that he was registered with them. 🙄

Anna2022 · April 21

It sounds like your DW got anxious while you were gone? Maybe she can't be left alone anymore? My DH has lost his problem solving skills so he can't be left alone either. I'm working on getting him to accept someone else to come be with him while I'm out for a bit…he has anosognosia so he thinks he is just FINE.

harshedbuzz · April 22

Was your daughter with your wife when this happened? Or was she called after the fact to corroborate your story because your wife was alone when she called?

If your wife was alone, it sounds as if she no longer has the judgment to be left without supervision meaning she'll need to come along with you on errands, or you'll need to bring someone in to keep an eye on her. If she was alone when the police arrived and obviously confused, the situation may have triggered a report to APS.

HB

Cat K · May 7

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/72840/wife-called-police-on-me

I can't offer advice, but this happened to me. It was soon after my husband's diagnosis. He didn't know who I was and was very upset. I tried to tell him that I was his wife. Then without my knowledge he called the police. I was in shock when a sheriff's deputy showed up at the door. My husband went outside to talk to the deputy, then he came in and said the deputy wanted to talk to me. I still had no idea why the deputy was here when I went outside to talk to him. My husband had told the deputy that I was not his wife, that he was not married, and that he had no idea who I was. I showed the deputy my driver's license and marriage license. My husband said I could have had those printed. After my husband had gone back into the house, I explained to the deputy that he has Alzheimer's. I was in tears. The deputy was very kind and asked if I felt it was safe for me to stay at the house, to which I replied that I did. He said if I needed help to call them. It was one of the most difficult things I have ever experienced. When he would get upset again because he didn't know me, I would unplug the telephones (landlines) so he couldn't call the police again. During one bad episode I got his daughter on my cell phone, and he told her "I don't know who this b***h is." I sympathize with your situation. This disease is brutal.

Wife called police on me

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