Have any questions about how to use the community? Check out the Help Discussion.

The Cavalry Is Not Coming: 9 Year Edition

2»

Comments

  • Maru
    Maru Member Posts: 308
    250 Care Reactions 100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments
    Member
  • tonyac2
    tonyac2 Member Posts: 222
    250 Likes 250 Care Reactions 100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Comments
    Member

    Thank you Bill. I’m going to print your post and commit it to memory. I think this is going to help me let go of some of the bitterness and resentments I’ve been nursing towards family and friends who don’t give a whit about what’s going on under our roof. For my sanity I need to start being the boss and allow others to live their lives. The whole world can’t stand still just because my life has been thrown into a meat grinder. Thank you for the clarity.

  • CassLoftis
    CassLoftis Member Posts: 22
    10 Comments 5 Care Reactions
    Member
    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/71052/the-cavalry-is-not-coming-9-year-edition

    Thank you for this Bill. I have been on this journey with my DH for going on 8 years and some days it is very hard to keep going. There has never been any Calvary for me, his family coming to help just means I am playing host when all I want is permission to run away for a day and think my own thoughts. I think my revelation came more as a sense of my own independence inside this highly demanding relationship.

  • MamaV
    MamaV Member Posts: 14
    25 Care Reactions 10 Comments 5 Likes
    Member

    my DH was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment 9 years ago, and thankfully has declined slowly. Until this year. He declined pretty quickly and now is in stage 5-6 Alzheimer’s, needing constant supervision. This is hard! I’m realizing that I am on my own and will get help when I can though local agencies. This article is so helpful in stating the obvious and eliminating any illusions of assistance from friends and family. I’m happy to learn this early on rather than finding out the hard way.
    Thank you for setting me straight. I love the idea of using technology to help supervise. Here we go. Jumping into this situation with eyes wide open.

  • Michele P
    Michele P Member Posts: 307
    100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments 25 Care Reactions
    Member
    edited February 22

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=in3Lt1cei1o

    Bill, your posts help so many. I saw this video years ago, and it helped me accept people where they are instead of being resentful of who I wanted them to be. It’s a hard lesson to learn, but once you accept it, it makes the relationships easier to handle. God bless.

  • Biggles
    Biggles Member Posts: 721
    1,000 Care Reactions 500 Likes 500 Comments 100 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member
    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/241627#Comment_241627

    tonyac2 I printed Bill’s article back in 2024 it’s been pinned on my fridge ever since and I sent copies to our local Dementia Association and others. The article was the start of my recovery, the acceptance of my darling DH’s disease and my determination to love him the way I have always loved him and live as much of this life together as we can. I refer to it often plus Bill’s other article The Caregivers Brain equally brilliant. Thank you again Bill.

  • Michele P
    Michele P Member Posts: 307
    100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments 25 Care Reactions
    Member

    I had a similar experience with my husband. Luckily, we didn’t owe money. You are going to have to take over all finances. Get a list of all accounts along with log in and passwords. Do the same for phones and computers. Put all bills on automatic payment. Call your bank and brokerage firm and have them send you a text or email every time money goes in or out of his account. His executive function is impaired.

  • Barbie300
    Barbie300 Member Posts: 28
    10 Comments 25 Care Reactions 5 Likes First Anniversary
    Member

    Thank you so much for posting this. It is exactly what I needed. Sometimes I just get a feeling of accomplishment when I have been able to learn some new skills that I never did before bc my DH always did them, such as managing income tax returns, investments and household chores such as changing the refrigerator water filter. I’ve learned that I can handle a lot more than I thought. Indeed the Cavalry is not coming.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more

Community Guidelines


Click here to review the ALZConnected Community Guidelines

Categories