Driving

JJ is exactly right. Too bad you spent money on the battery.

PWDs (persons with dementia) have anosognosia--they are unaware of having dementia and that they have declined in abilities. If you confront them with reality, they will resist and become upset. So don't do this. Use the work-arounds to get things done, as suggested above.

My HWD hasn’t driven in about 4 years. We still have his car, and I drive it once a week to keep it running. He’s not really happy about not driving (he thinks he’s fine), but he does recognize that he gets confused and the family all delivers the same message that we don’t want him to hurt himself or anyone else. At some point I’ll get rid of his car, but for now it seems to give him some sort of security to have it sitting in the garage.

From the time my DW was diagnosed a little over 5 years ago her memory doctors told me I should not let her drive any more. But if I wanted to continue to let her drive I should ride with her weekly to make sure she was still capable which at the time she was. At that time she was only driving to the local bowling alley or grocery store. A few years ago as she started to decline more rapidly I knew driving was no longer an option for her so I hid her keys. The car remained in the garage and although she wasn't driving it she still thought she was. About 6 months later I sold the car which was a huge issue with her. She acted out about it for several weeks getting upset, crying and being angry with me. She would bring it up at night out of the blue and get upset sometimes crying and running off to the bedroom and slamming the door. It was a very though time for the first month. Then slowly but surely she eventually stopped bringing it up or would just ask if she was ever getting it back but not get upset. During the first few days while she was constantly upset I spoke with her doctor who increased her anxiety and depression meds and that did help some. It was a very hard but necessary thing to do. As her caregiver it is on me to keep her and others safe. Plus I would imagine that if a person who has been diagnosed with AIZ gets in an accident I will be sued and more than likely the insurance company will refuse the claim! In any case I tried using her diagnosis of early stages of glaucoma as the reason she is uninsurable and thus cannot drive. As someone else mentioned people with middle stages of ALZ do not know or believe there is anything wrong with them. So using their memory as the reason won't fly with them. Any way now a year and a half since she last drove the subject hardly ever comes up any more. If it does I just change the subject and she forgets she asked. My advice even though it is tough for us as care givers, do the hard thing now before something happens you can't fix. As others have said unfortunately there is no manual on how to handle the things that come at us day to day. We just do the best we can to take care of our loved one and keep them safe. Best of luck to all of us.