Struggling in Stage 8

I don’t think you are grieving just your spouse. You lost your home, your friends, and ( at least for a while?) your health. You are grieving it all. Are you healthy enough to consider a move back to where you formerly lived at? If you want to, that is. Are you healthy enough to consider a part time job or a volunteer position? It’s the wrong time of year to suggest volunteering at a school… but what about a library? Our small town library puts on activities through the use of volunteers. Family bingo, homework help, yoga, etc. Think outside the box for things like that instead of traditional activities.

I am sorry you are having such a hard time. I lost my DH six months ago and it doesn't get any easier. Like you, I try to stay busy but the loneliness is hard to bear, even when you are surrounded with other people. As Quilting said, you are grieving not only your DH but also the loss of your old life and it is very hard to start a new one after so many years with a partner. Have you tried any grief support groups, through Hospice or the Alzheimer's association? It helps to talk with others who understand what you are going through. Sending hugs .