Is it necessary for Nurologist it ask same questions that upset patient everytime?

In our case after seeing the neurologist and getting the diagnoses and initial prescription 9 years ago I could see no value in going back over and over. We talked to my wifes PCP and he was willing and able to take care of her as needed. He could add or change medications as needed and could refer us back to the neurologist if needed. My wife is now in MC and they have a doctor that comes in there that her other PCP recommended she change to because they are in often so my wife is seen more frequently.

Charlie, my DW is about in the same place as yours and while the neurologist questions upset her I am afraid not seeing him anymore might make DW feel that we've given up. While my DW knows what is happening to her she wants to be sure we are doing all we can,and I want to give her as much support as I can.

I found that a Geriatric Psychiatrist was the best doctor to manage medications for my DH. She only required one in person visit and then everything was handled by phone, online or in a telehealth visit. I also cancelled all specialist visits except those absolutely necessary or I asked for telehealth visits. No need adding things that cause anxiety. Once he went into MC the doctor on staff handled everything.

My PWD is in mid-stage but still somewhat aware of his own decline. The quizzing from doctors really bothers him, and he responds with embarrassment. He asks me after the doctor leaves the room did he do OK, and I always say that he did fine. The clock faces and the “remember three words” quizzes seem ridiculous after an initial assessment.

Lately we have been seeing a facility-affiliated PCP who is compassionate and works every day with dementia patients. It’s plenty, and we are done with drawing clock faces. (BTW, my PWD wears a watch and can tell time—sometimes— but creating a clock face on paper is hopeless.)

My DW was diagnosed over 5 years ago. She is in very much the same stages as your DW. Short term memory really bad. Stopped her driving and cooking a couple of years ago. But she dresses, baths does laundry and some cleaning still. I can also leave her for several hours during the day a few times a week. She also walks our dog around the neighborhood daily without issue so far. The first two years we visited the memory care doctors the psychologist gave her a one hour test. After the second time she said my DW was extremely upset by it and that we know her diagnosis so there would be no need to do these tests in the future. I agreed. It is obvious that her condition has progressed. Testing and upsetting her more would make no sense. So in my opinion no, the doctors should know better than to ask things that upset her when her situation has already been determined.

I had my dh pcp stop with the neuro question. It upset him to bad. His neurologist doesn't ask them anymore thank goodness. They get him so upset. I see no sense in them if they have already been diagnosed and have failed all the test multiple times. He is not going to get better so why?