50 years

Crushed · May 21

In a few days we will have our 50th wedding anniversary. I know for a certainty that she is the best thing that ever happened to me in my life. She last recognized me in 2017 and has been bedridden since 2021. She is 73 lovely as ever, with a few streaks of grey in her hair. I have stunning wonderful memories rated from G to XXX. We have two wonderful girls and 5 grandchildren. She gets the very best of care.
Her favorite "marital moment" story
We had the kids 5& 6 in an RV in a campground in the San Juan Islands WA. We were the only people in the campground. I built a campfire and she got the kids asleep. She joined me on a blanket and things got very friendly. Two raccoons came and perched on the table watching us! I asked her if that bothered her and she said "I don't know them!"
That's my girl!
I will make key lime pie and play the old songs and remember all the good times
Best to all

JeriLynn66 · May 21

a lovely tribute ❤️

Caro_Lynne · May 21

Glad she didn't let the voyeuristic raccoons spoil your moment 😄 Your DW is fortunate to have you xo

Russinator · May 21

You and I have been extremely blessed with the perfect lady. Mine isn't as far along with her dementia as yours but I know that day will come.

Lorita · May 21

Early happy anniversary. So glad you have those wonderful memories. She is lucky to have you and vice versa..

Kat63 · May 21

Happy Anniversary, Crushed. Lovely post about your DW. I too have had the most wonderful marriage until this disease took over. My DH made me a better person and because of everything he gave me, I’m glad to be caring for him.

jfkoc · May 21

I remember back to the trip to Africa and the wonderful photos. Also the bathroom remodel. Your love has always shone through brightly.

Dio · May 21

Thanks for sharing another heartwarming memory. You're both lucky to have each other.

Biggles · May 21

I too know those memories, 54 fabulous exciting G to xxx for us. Gentle tears form in my eyes thinking about your life and reflecting on ours. The wonderful hurts so badly at this stage. Take care.

Biggles · May 21

RickM · May 21

Hello Crushed,

Melissa died in August last year so I don't hang out here much anymore. Logged in today because I am going to recommend the site to a friend, so I figured I would see what was new and maybe catch up with some friends.

So glad to read your post, especially the remembrance in the San Juan's. Melissa and I visited there many times over the years being fortunate enough to live close to them.

There was too much on the calendar right after her death (our son's marriage, honeymoon, moving to a house) plus I just wasn't emotionally ready to do a celebration of life/memorial right away. We finally had it last weekend, on our wedding anniversary, in the park we got married in, and would visit every May 18th the following 34 years. The 35th year was with friends and family. I'm worn out from the weekend with visiting/entertaining our family, not to mention the preparation.

It is about the memories isn't it? They're what keep us propped up these days. Plus, they provide me with gratitude for the woman I met, the life that we lived, our wonderful son and daughter in law, and the life that I have remaining.

But I miss her. ❤️ And it will never be the same.

Best wishes to you, your wife, and your family. Thanks for sharing your experiences and stories over the years.

On our last visit in 2022 (it was hard getting in and out of the kayak but she was still a strong paddler).

Timmyd · May 22

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/243758#Comment_243758

Following DW diagnosis in Jan 2022, the goal was quality of life. Do as much as you can for as long as you can. Today she has trouble finding the bathroom in our house, but here is our paddling photo from the summer 2022:

trottingalong · May 22

oh your story made me smile. Those very special memories do linger and I’m thankful for that. It brought back a memory I had forgotten about. Thank you!

trottingalong · May 22

Beautiful photo. Puts you right back in that space and time. I miss the husband I no longer have, but I’m extremely thankful he’s still here. Wishing you the best.

Jgirl57 · May 22

Sweet memories and your homemade key lime pie. (((hugs))) Thanks for sharing

Bridge4 · May 22

Happy Anniversary Crushed, yours were among some of the first posts I remember following when joining this site. Your descriptions about how brilliant and accomplished your DW was were very poignant. They serve as a good reminder that no matter how challenging our lives as caregivers have become, our LOs have lost so much more and are deserving of all the love and support we can muster. Thank you for sharing your story here.

Quilting brings calm · May 22

Crushed, I’m both happy and sad about your anniversary. It’s a real accomplishment these days to make a marriage last 50 years! But it’s so sad that only 1/2 the couple can be aware to celebrate it.
Thank you so much for your expertise that you’ve offered here throughout the years.

LindaLouise · May 22

Happy Anniversary, Crushed! My DH and I just reached #47 - he is now in memory care but I'm there with him daily. We were sailors and spent many happy hours in the San Juans - paddling our kayaks was one of our favorite activities. I'm so grateful for the wonderful life we had together- he was the best! and I'm forever grateful for all we had. Yes, I wish this disease never happened, but I'm also grateful that I had him as my guy and we had the life and love we had. I know so many we didn't have what I had, and realize that gratitude can help ease the pain. Not always, but it helps. Love seeing the paddling pictures -

midge333 · May 22

Happy anniversary!

ladyzetta · May 22

Hello Dear Crushed.

It's so nice hearing from you. I have always loved your stories about you and your wife. Happy anniversary. Hugs Zetta

A. Marie · May 22

Crushed, I'm among those who don't log in often any more because I'm in Stage 8. My DH died almost 2 years ago. But you've said that your DW was the best thing that ever happened to you—and my DH was the best thing that ever happened to me. I only wish we'd both had many more years with our best things. Thank you for the anniversary update, and I salute you and all the rest of us still carrying our torches for our dear ones.

JDancer · May 22

Another smile from one of your posts. But my favorite one will always be your tale of the Def Comedy Jam date.

Crushed · June 17

Well we had the 50 anniversary . I played the old songs "did she mention my name" "bad bad leroy brown" "cotton Jenny" You liked the other one so her is another Marital moment story . When she was in medical school we were teh only married couple among the women students. They had an on call room with a lounge and an adjacent sleeping room, I would bring her dinner on overnights so she did not have to eat the hospital food. If I brought donuts or cookies for the other women they would give us the bedroom for an hour! DEAL So one night a I brought cookies , fed her dinner in the bedroom and she sat down on the bed and keeled over asleep. She was exhausted. So I read my book while she slept. After an hour I woke her up and said "time to go back to work, but I hope you wont embarrass me in front of your friends" (If you've seen THE QUIET MAN you know the reference. She walked out and the other women were giving her the big smile and searching look and she said
"Well…That's the kind of hour keeps a marriage together"
that's my girl !!

trottingalong · June 17

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/245894#Comment_245894

THAT brought a smile to my face.

ladyzetta · June 17

Crushed. It's so nice hearing from you. Take care, hugs Zetta

ButterflyWings · June 17

@Crushed you have been the best thing that happened to your lovely wife too. I too am glad to hear from you, and always appreciate your reflections along with the wonderful advice you gave when I was a newbie here, years ago. I've been settling in to Stage 8 after my precious DH's death a few months ago. Right now it feels like just an extension of the limbo in the last year of his disease — his aphasia silence, me providing all his needs, and ignoring the feelings that threatened to take me under — focusing instead on all the special times and beautiful memories I can preserve. It honors our LOs and us when we can do that, I believe. Thank you for being such a great guy.

SDianeL · June 18

love your stories. Thanks for sharing your memories with us. I am Stage 8 since August. I am doing things to honor my DH’s memory. June 13th would have been his 80th birthday and with Father’s Day it was a rough week. She’s lucky to have you. I know you are cherishing the beautiful memories you made. 💜

Arrowhead · June 18

Your story reminded me of the time we were in the midst of passion, and she said to me, "We should get married." Another time we were just beginning, and she told me she was a virgin. We had four children.

White Crane · June 18

Crushed, as always, it’s good to hear from you. Thank you for the story. It brought a smile to my face. You were on the forum when I first I gained a lot from you.

tboard · June 18

Our 45th wedding anniversary is coming up in July. I'll probably bake him a cake. (I can't eat it but he can). I'll remember the good time for both of us and maybe have a glass of wine.

50 years

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Early happy anniversary. So glad you have those wonderful memories. She is lucky to have you and vice versa..

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