Have any questions about how to use the community? Check out the Help Discussion.

The Long Goodbye

Options
CampCarol
CampCarol Member Posts: 220
250 Care Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions
Member
in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

My beautiful, sweet husband passed away a little while ago. I was sleeping, and I don’t know how I will ever forgive myself for not being with him. I have to comfort myself knowing that he is free from this awful disease; the pain and confusion. He was the best thing that ever happened to me, and I know this world is a better place for him having been here. Not sure what I am going to do now, but I know he would want me to be strong. Thank you all for listening, your candor, brief moments of humor, and most of all just for being here. This forum is truly a Godsend, and I am so grateful.

«1

Comments

  • Marla13
    Marla13 Member Posts: 35
    25 Likes 10 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    So sorry for your loss. He is resting easy now. May you find some peace. Sending hugs.

  • JeriLynn66
    JeriLynn66 Member Posts: 1,160
    1000 Comments 250 Likes 100 Care Reactions 25 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Carol, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your sweet husband is at peace now. Sending peace to you.

  • Beachfan
    Beachfan Member Posts: 817
    Seventh Anniversary 250 Care Reactions 500 Comments 100 Likes
    Member

    I am sorry. I wish you peace and comfort in the future. You will smile again. 🙏🏻🙏🏻

  • marier
    marier Member Posts: 105
    Sixth Anniversary 25 Likes 25 Care Reactions 10 Comments
    Member

    Hugs and more hugs to you as you begin stage 8. Please give yourself love, time grieve and remember as you continue your life journey.

  • trottingalong
    trottingalong Member Posts: 667
    Ninth Anniversary 500 Comments 250 Care Reactions 250 Likes
    Member

    I’m sorry for your loss. Give yourself some grace.

  • cdgbdr
    cdgbdr Member Posts: 190
    100 Comments 25 Likes 25 Care Reactions First Anniversary
    Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss.

  • ladyzetta
    ladyzetta Member Posts: 1,224
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Likes 25 Care Reactions
    Member

    Dear Carol.

    Iam sorry for your loss, may your DH rest in peace. You were with him in thoughts. And yes HB, is so right, they will often wait till you step away. My DH waited till his kids left the room, then he passed. Hugs and prayers 🙏 being sent to you. Zetta

  • Jgirl57
    Jgirl57 Member Posts: 669
    Fifth Anniversary 250 Likes 500 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    So very sorry for your loss ; I think he knew you were ok because you were resting. You are correct, he is free from this horrible disease. Hugs and peace to you and your family.

  • Kat63
    Kat63 Member Posts: 147
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments 100 Care Reactions 25 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    So Sorry. May your wonderful memories give you strength and comfort as you enter stage 8.

  • Dio
    Dio Member Posts: 831
    250 Likes 250 Care Reactions 500 Comments Third Anniversary
    Member

    My condolences. Be comforted that his suffering, and yours, are over. May you find peace and joy again and live fully.

  • White Crane
    White Crane Member Posts: 1,024
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Care Reactions 250 Likes 500 Comments
    Member

    Carol, I’m so sorry for the loss of your dear husband. Praying you find peace and comfort knowing his long journey has ended.

  • Bunny whisperer
    Bunny whisperer Member Posts: 46
    Fifth Anniversary 25 Care Reactions 10 Comments 5 Likes
    Member

    Sorry for your loss. Praying for you. Give yourself time to grieve and take care of yourself 💜.

  • Anna2022
    Anna2022 Member Posts: 227
    100 Likes 100 Care Reactions 100 Comments Second Anniversary
    Member

    I'm sorry to hear this news. I hope you find peace and comfort in the coming days. You did a great job taking care of him!!

  • Jazzma
    Jazzma Member Posts: 197
    Sixth Anniversary 250 Care Reactions 100 Likes 100 Comments
    Member

    Camp Carol, I think he knew that you had been keeping close to him and were still nearby.

    My grandmother used to say that 'it's not what you eat between Christmas and New Years that makes you fat, it's what you eat between New Years and Christmas.' What happened in the last minutes of his life is not what matters — it's what happened for all the time that you were together.

    Sending you love and hugs, wishing you peace and comfort. I started Stage 8 two days ago. We will move forward together.

  • hiya
    hiya Member Posts: 129
    100 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions 25 Likes 25 Care Reactions
    Member

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I can tell you loved and cared for him deeply. Prayers for comfirt

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 1,788
    500 Insightfuls Reactions 500 Likes 1000 Comments 500 Care Reactions
    Member

    I’m so sorry for your loss. His suffering is over. Take time to rest and cherish the beautiful memories you made together. Sending love and hugs. 💜

  • Karen711
    Karen711 Member Posts: 150
    100 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions 25 Likes 25 Care Reactions
    Member

    I’m so sorry for your loss Carol!
    sending hugs!💜

  • GothicGremlin
    GothicGremlin Member Posts: 1,121
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Likes 250 Care Reactions
    Member

    Carol, I'm so sorry about the loss of your DH. He is at peace now and free from this horrible disease.

  • Goodlife2025
    Goodlife2025 Member Posts: 71
    25 Insightfuls Reactions 25 Care Reactions 25 Likes 10 Comments
    Member

    Carol keeping you and Jazzma in my prayers over these days of landing in stage 8. May you both have peace in the days ahead.

  • easy23
    easy23 Member Posts: 266
    Fourth Anniversary 100 Care Reactions 100 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    I wish you peace of mind in the coming days. May your DH rest in peace.

  • midge333
    midge333 Member Posts: 538
    500 Comments 250 Likes 100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Care Reactions
    Member

    I am sorry for your loss. Please be kind to yourself.

  • CindyBum
    CindyBum Member Posts: 452
    500 Care Reactions 250 Likes 100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Comments
    Member

    I am so sorry for you loss of your sweet DH. You provided all of the loving support he needed to pass peacefully. What a gift to him.

    xoxo

  • Russinator
    Russinator Member Posts: 259
    100 Likes 100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Care Reactions
    Member

    ((HUGS))

  • psg712
    psg712 Member Posts: 524
    500 Comments 100 Care Reactions 100 Likes 25 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Very sorry for your loss.

  • ghphotog
    ghphotog Member Posts: 704
    500 Care Reactions 500 Comments 100 Insightfuls Reactions 100 Likes
    Member

    So sorry.

  • Russinator
    Russinator Member Posts: 259
    100 Likes 100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Care Reactions
    Member

    ((HUGS))

  • mrahope
    mrahope Member Posts: 559
    500 Comments Fourth Anniversary 250 Care Reactions 100 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    So sorry for your loss. May his memory be a blessing.

  • Last Dance
    Last Dance Member Posts: 140
    Legacy Membership 100 Comments 5 Insightfuls Reactions 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    As a few others have said about his passing while you were asleep is not what you wanted but it's what he wanted. I have personally witnessed this on more than one occasion. This happened to my wife who was a caregiver for her mother my wife spent the whole day by her mother's bedside in the hospital, She got up from her chair walked into the bathroom and honestly before she even got a chance to sit down her mother passed away, because she didn't want her daughter to see her go. My mother did the same thing with my sister. My mother was expected to live till sometime in the early morning and around 2:15 in the afternoon my sister and her husband went down to cafeteria just to get a cup of coffee they were out of the room two minutes and my mother passed away. And my personal experience was almost like yours I set up with my wife from 10:00 o'clock in the morning to 4:00 o'clock the following morning. I fell asleep for like 5 minutes when I woke my wife was gone. Maybe it's their way of sparing us the pain of seeing them go, maybe it's God's way, I do not know. But this is not uncommon do not be angry at yourself do not worry about it or think about it as I said above it wasn't what you wanted but it was what he wanted. God's blessings to you as you start a new journey in life without him. Richard

  • mrsdee13
    mrsdee13 Member Posts: 27
    25 Care Reactions 10 Comments 5 Likes
    Member

    I am so sorry for your loss. I believe he left this earth peacefully and is now at rest. I pray for your strength. God bless.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more

Community Guidelines


Click here to review the ALZConnected Community Guidelines

Categories