Alcohol

Welcome. My mom is mid stage and there is no way she should drive. Somewhere on here I read that if someone is in an accident and has a dementia diagnosis their insurance may not cover it. This might be worth looking into. I think I would also ask the doctor his opinion on the driving. Driving is about more than just not getting lost. Reaction time is very important! It might be best to slip the doctor a note with a question about driving. People with dementia tend to get upset if anyone questions their ability to do something. There will NEVER come a time when he tells you, it’s not safe for me to drive anymore here are the keys. I know driving was not part of your original concern, but if he is not driving I assume it might be easier to regulate the drinking as well. I hope you can find a solution.

@RLT

Hi and welcome. I am sorry for your reason to be here but pleased you found this place.

Alcohol can be a real problem with dementia. Judgment and short-term memory are already impaired by the disease, alcohol exacerbates both issues profoundly. Add in access to a vehicle and this is a disaster in the making.

If he's drinking for entertainment, perhaps a day program would suit him if you're not home regularly during the day to keep him engaged.

HB

I have the same problem as well but with wine. He really does not realize how much he is drinking even when he goes to the refrigerator to get a glass of wine and the bottle is half empty. He will argue with me saying it was not him who drank it. I have resorted to replacing his wine with non alcoholic wine. I pour out the alcoholic stuff and replace with non alcoholic wine. I have to do it when he takes the dog for a walk because he will see me doing it. As we all know, he is my shadow so no private time. I tried to just switching it out and put the non alcoholic wine bottle in the refrigerator. It took a couple of bottles but he caught on and refused to drink it. If it is in a regular bottle he doesnt know the difference. H

I'm with Belle60, and have been majorly watering down my DW's gin for over a year now and she has no clue.

My LO, 86 with mid stage 3-4 Alzheimer’s was exactly the same 🤦‍♀️we had 2 cars so I sold his car after he got lost in the rain and got confused.. The other car is mine so I told him he cannot drive my car due to insurance. After he was diagnosed he was mandated to take a driving test by DMV. California mandates doctors to report diagnosed dementia. He drove himself to the DMV, got lost and confused. But after I told him the way, I have a tracker on his phone, he passed the driver test! In December he has to take the written and driving, I’m sue he won’t pass.
Alcohol has continued to be an issue. Sadly there no reasoning with someone slowly having their brain cells deteriorate. I’ve tried non alcoholic , water down, throwing a fit, finally I told him I can’t be his wife and mother, so choose🤪he doesn’t realize how badly alcohol affects everything! Now I monitor his drinking , hate that, and maybe a small glass of wine with dinner. Problem is when I’m gone I don’t know what he drinks, neither does he. At least there’s no car for him to drive! Eventually I will remove all alcoholic beverages from the house. We both do better without throwing in the alcohol! One day at a time, and I’m 81, not sure how much longer I want to drive🤷‍♀️Sandi

I've always said he's in denial, but someone mentioned Anosognosia to me this morning. It's not so much that he's denying it, but rather that he can't comprehend that there is an issue. Not sure if I'm explaining that well, but I think I understand it now.

That's a good thing, because alcohol makes depression worse and makes dementia worse. While you're there, your doctor should tell him to stop driving, because he has no business doing so even if he stops drinking. Dementia only worsens, and he is a greater hazard on the road with every passing day. I suggest you communicate this to his PCP before you see him, so he can tell your husband and you can blame his need to stop driving on the doctor.

My wife stopped driving when she was diagnosed with dementia. She had worked in the insurance industry long enough to know that she would be blamed for any collision, regardless of the circumstances, because the courts would hold that an unimpaired person could have avoided the accident even if someone else caused it.