New to this and looking for any advice!

Hello! I was there not long ago. She was in denial for a long time. She lied to me a lot to hide how advanced she was. I encourage you to keep trying to get her to a Doctor. Keep talking to her about what you see. I know that sounds like non-advice, but I had to keep on my mom until one day she just knew she couldn't do it alone. If there us anyone else in her life that she is close to, ask for help to convince her.

welcome. Sorry about your Mom. Your mom is not in denial. She has Anosognosia which is a neurological condition that prevents people from recognizing or acknowledging their mental health or neurological deficits. Someone here posted that “you can’t reason with someone whose reasoner is broken” so no amount of talking to her will help. You need to have legal paperwork to be able to help your Mom. Make an appointment with an elder care attorney to get a DPOA and HIPPA documents. Tell her you are doing yours and both of you should go. If that doesn’t work you may need to talk to an attorney about guardianship. Call her doctor and tell the nurse your concerns and make an appointment, then make up a fib something like the doctor’s office called and said that your Mom’s insurance requires she have an annual physical. You will need to use fibs to get her to go. Go with her. Tell the nurse not to mention her cognitive issues to your Mom. See if you can get a referral to a Neurologist. Read the book “The 36 Hour Day” which helped me after my husband’s diagnosis. Come here often for info & support. Learn all you can about the disease. It will help you help her.

Hi there: I just want you to know you are not alone. I am also an only child (though I am 60), and I am dealing with similar issues with my mom. Unfortunately, all of my mother's issues are exacerbated by the fact that she has always had undiagnosed mental health issues that mean she rapidly fluctuates from charming to cruel (BPD), and was always very adept at lying and manipulation (NPD). She has been able to keep her "act" (and I do mean act) together for a short time and in public, but her ability to maintain a facade is starting to slip. She recently acted inappropriately and cruelly to me at my daughter's wedding. She has been increasingly paranoid and aggressive. She cannot keep track of important details and insists we are all lying or think she is "stupid or "senile." It used to be that she would pick fights occasionally, but she just wants to fight with family all of the time now. She absolutely refuses to acknowledge any cognitive or emotional issue. In my mom's case, this is not anosognosia but, rather, a lifelong pattern that has gotten worse (I am a clinical psychologist with geriatric experience, so I do know the difference). She has alienated dozens of friends over the course of her lifetime, so there are very few people left who can check in on her. Luckily, I am in communication with her attorney and financial advisor, and I am also in therapy. However, we are at an awful in- between stage in which her disease has not progressed to the point that she cannot live alone, but she is getting close. Because she is mean and a liar, it is impossible to have any kind of rational discussion with her. I would like to be able to get support from to others who have abusive/mentally ill parents whose symptoms are now exacerbated by dementia.