Dad with zero short term memory in nursing home

Mav2126 · July 12

My dad has zero short term memory and just got put in a nursing home. He is desparate to get out and see family members visiting every day. Bottom line is I get 10-15 phone calls every day stating he is miserable and needs to see a family member. I can't visit every day because I am over an hour away. I just feel guilty not answering his 10-15 calls because I can't possibly answer all of them and I know he is just doing that because he forgets he calls within minutes after placing a call thus the repetitive calls all day. I just can't bear to think that this could go on for years.

sandwichone123 · July 12

Visiting every day wouldn't help. He needs time to build relationships with the staff and other residents. Set his ringtone to silent and call him back once a day when it works for you. If he's been there for a few weeks, you can start visiting once or twice a week if it works for your schedule. You are not responsible for his care—that's what you're paying the staff for.

Most adults don't visit their parents every day or week. We don't need to start when they can no longer remember it anyway. We need to visit often enough to know that they are receiving adequate care, but we can't guarantee that they will be happy or not have moments of discontent.

Quilting brings calm · July 12

The staff will call you if he actually needs you. Answer the calls once a day. Or call him once a day. This incessant calling is common.

terei · July 12

‘Break’ the phone + take it away to be ‘fixed’. If there is an emergency, you will be contacted.

CKWC · July 14

My mother’s Alzheimer’s dementia has progressed from mild to moderate. I finally had to take her number from my emergency break through list and silence the phone at night or during meetings at work. Anyone who needs to contact me because of an emergency is still on that list and I still call my mother everyday. It was not easy to make that decision but attempts to ask mom not to call me just because a pen was misplaced did not work at all.

Jarmac · July 26

Receiving constant calls is very upsetting. My ex-partner has MCI. We no longer live together. He will text me or call me over 100 times per day with the same comments and questions. This has been happening for 6 months. I have blocked him on my iPhone. I will occasionally take the block off the texts to see if has changed his behavior. In addition to repetition, I think this is an obsession with him.

Mav2126 · July 26

Jarmac that is terrible. I sympathize for you.

Dad with zero short term memory in nursing home

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