Dementia

samron · July 13

Lately, my wife doesn't wash herself or use deodorant and she wears the same clothes for days. Her memory is getting worse, but she maintains a good appetite. I would ask her about her hygiene but she feels as though I'm treating as a child.

Jgirl57 · July 13

Sorry this is a struggle. The days of asking her about her hygiene are over. This is a tricky thing to navigate . I had to create places for us to go and tell my DH, after showers we are going out for ice cream. I usually had to pull together clean clothes and get the shower started. During that stage I avoided making eye contact( to avoid the hateful stare) and simply said it’s time to shower. We are past that stage now but I remember the stress for about 2 years. Now my DH doesn’t even fuss at all when I get him showered. But we all know that could change with this awful disease

Chris20cm · July 13

Second childhood, is what it used to be called. Because they are much like children, and need to be watched over, cleaned, the bath or shower has to be made ready for them, we have to keep their clothes washed, and they cannot be left alone. DW is in stage 6, and hygiene has been an issue, but I arrange the weekly shower, manage the dentist visits, beauty shop visits for shampoos, make sure she brushes and uses deodorant. When I do these things, like tell her her shower is ready, she laughs but goes with it now. I can tolerate the laughing.

SDianeL · July 14

so sorry. It’s very common. Telling her won’t help. Her brain is broken. Read the book “The 36 Hour Day” which talks about why they don’t shower. Lots more helpful information. Try telling her “it’s our shower day. Get the shower ready. Put a shower chair in the shower and a hand held shower wand. Make sure the water is warm not hot. Get everything ready. While she showers get her clothes ready and put the dirty clothes in the laundry. Have her toothbrush with toothpaste ready and brush your teeth at the same time or pretend to. Have the deodorant out and demonstrate how to apply it, Her brain is broken. You have to help her. She has forgotten how to do it and forgets when she last had a shower.

H1235 · July 14

This article has some insights into why showers might be a problem.

understanding-the-dementia-experience.pdf

tboard · July 14

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73511/dementia

My DH get very angry if I suggest a change of clothing or a shower. He will often tell me he just took a shower when I know for sure he has had 5 or 6 showers in the last year. Sometimes he takes he cloths off before bed. I take the clothes away for washing and put out clean clothes while he is sleeping. Showers are few and far between unless he has soiled himself. I have to help him undress and once he is in the shower I literally hose him down. Sometimes he stays angry for an entire day after having a shower. We don't go out much and when family comes to visit the house rule is that if you smell something say something.. . . to me of course not to him.

Dementia

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