Paradoxical Lucidity



Over the past couple of weeks, my mother has declined rapidly. After another evaluation from a different provider, she qualified for hospice this time. She's incontinent, refusing to eat regularly, and sleeping most of the day now. Her ambulation has become more unstable with the shuffling gait so common with dementia. I went to visit her yesterday, and she tried to communicate with me. Her words are still strung together as syllables and sounds that mimic words but are mostly incoherent. She did seem like she understood me, though, and she honestly seemed to recollect the time she broke her hip. It has been a common memory for us to share because her beagle went to get the neighbors for help. She hasn't shown any remembrance of that episode for months. Suddenly yesterday, she did. At least, I am convinced that she did by her manner and her affectionate gratitude toward Teddy (the beagle) who I brought to visit with her. She seemed interested in what I shared with her about my week. We were connecting at least a little bit. She smiled and had familiar facial expressions to animate her word salad. She complimented my hair cut and said, "I love you" back to me when I left. She hasn't said that in months. Has anyone else experienced this kind of unexpected lucidity in their loved one? This awful disease never fails to confuse me.
Comments
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Teddy the beagle needs an extra pat from me! What a great dog. Love that.
My dad is about at stage 6, but last week in a single visit he was first confused about who I was and then later he offered a lengthy assessment of some things that have happened to him over the past five years or so. Usually he doesn’t seem to remember any of this. But here he was talking about how bad things had gotten and expressing appreciation to me for helping him. I could hardly believe it. It felt like whiplash. Confusing to be sure. The brain is so strange.
These moments of lucidity feel like a gift—as if for a little bit we can get our heads above water before we are pulled down by the undertow yet again.
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I'm so interested in hearing about your mother because I feel my dad has taken a major step backward over the past month. He is also showing some incontinence, sleeping more, eating a little less and also leaning over to one side and more unsteady in his gait. To us, it seems so sudden and out of the blue. I was myself wondering if this can just happen where one day they are just different than they were yesterday. His caregiver says yes, she has seen it happen.
Although my dad is probably more like mid-5 and still communicating well for the most part, he definitely has what I call "moments of clarity." I think it can just happen at any time, part of the mystery of this terrible disease.
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Yes it happens. Someone on the forum posted that it was as if the wires in their brain connected for a bit. Like a short in an electric cord. My DH wasn’t communicating hardly at all. He would answer the caregivers yes or no and that was about it. One day shortly before he passed, I patted his arm and said I love you honey, and to my surprise he turned and looked me in the eyes and clearly said I love you too Babe. Those were the last words he ever said to me. I will cherish that moment always. 💜
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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