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Stage 7a- need to know if possible to keep them home

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Babz0226
Babz0226 Member Posts: 71
25 Care Reactions 25 Likes Second Anniversary 10 Comments
Member

My 78 DH has Aliz and dx 2017 MC, he is progressing has anyone kept their LO home until the end. He is still going to day care 3 days a week ,will be 2 years in Oct. When is Hospice available ? I have been doing everything myself, he has had no showers since Jan but he lets me wash him . Bladder incontinent some BM , sometimes, not always. Have to cut up all meals, sometimes he will have a problem swallowing water, have to crush 2 of his pillls. I put a call in for Hospice evaluation from people that said I should. No shadowing, been there done that. He seems tired and sleeping all night and til 12:00 on the day no Day Care. I think I need some help don't know how long he will continue with Day Care. Married 57 years and big decline the last 6 weeks. What to do????

He is on Seroquel and that has helped a lot. Any feedback would be helpful .

Comments

  • cdgbdr
    cdgbdr Member Posts: 205
    100 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions 25 Likes 25 Care Reactions
    Member

    Please reach out to hospice for an evaluation if you don't hear soon from them. It is possible to stay at home but you will need help.

  • Babz0226
    Babz0226 Member Posts: 71
    25 Care Reactions 25 Likes Second Anniversary 10 Comments
    Member

    Thank you- that is what so may people have told me,even the Day Care has told me he is progressing.

  • Lills
    Lills Member Posts: 169
    Seventh Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Likes 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    I was able to keep my DH home until his death. I had 30 hours of CNA help come into our home each week to help bathe, etc. It was my gift to him. Yes, doable! Yes, hard. Yes, worthwhile!

  • Babz0226
    Babz0226 Member Posts: 71
    25 Care Reactions 25 Likes Second Anniversary 10 Comments
    Member

    Thank-you makes me feel hopeful.

  • PEMDAS
    PEMDAS Member Posts: 7
    5 Care Reactions First Comment First Anniversary
    Member

    I am in the same situation. MY DH is 20 years my senior, and I am struggling physically getting him around, and the incontinence is very difficult to keep him clean and safe. I made a decision this week to initiate the process and submit a request for long-term care. My thoughts are, what am I waiting for? An accident if I drop him? I cannot even leave the room any longer as He tries to get up and forgets he cannot walk. I do not want him hurt, and then the end comes with pain for him. It is a very hard decision, and truly, I will miss him, even though the home is across the street and I plan to visit every day.

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 1,885
    500 Insightfuls Reactions 500 Likes 1000 Comments 500 Care Reactions
    Member

    see if his doctor has a Case Manager or Social Worker who can help you get a hospice evaluation soon. You need help asap. Be sure to tell them that he is having difficulty swallowing.

  • Babz0226
    Babz0226 Member Posts: 71
    25 Care Reactions 25 Likes Second Anniversary 10 Comments
    Member

    Thank-you, waiting to hear.

  • PlentyQuiet
    PlentyQuiet Member Posts: 110
    Third Anniversary 25 Insightfuls Reactions 25 Care Reactions 25 Likes
    Member

    Dh is 7a as well and has been on hospice for about a month. He is still walking and talking. Hospice explained that they do not look for no vocalizations but that he is nonsensical when he speaks. That plus double incontinence and weight loss qualified him. The plan is to keep him at home, but we do have a plan B and plan C

  • Chammer
    Chammer Member Posts: 187
    Ninth Anniversary 100 Comments 25 Insightfuls Reactions 25 Care Reactions
    Member

    We were able to keep MILwAlz home through stage 7 and her death. FIL was w her 24/7 although he wasnt able to provide much in way of care. Otherwise it was a team effort w 20 hrs/wk of paid caregiver support, me and my adolescent and young adult children, and hospice for the final 3 months. It was very hard but a team approach made it do-able.

  • jfkoc
    jfkoc Member Posts: 4,479
    Legacy Membership 2500 Comments 500 Likes 250 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Yes, it is possible. It depends upon the amount of care need and the ability to provide that care. I do think that most who die at home require more help than one person can give.

  • Babz0226
    Babz0226 Member Posts: 71
    25 Care Reactions 25 Likes Second Anniversary 10 Comments
    Member

    Thanks to all for the great information.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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