I am forgetting, too

Eloise0304 · August 5

I usually am very organized, but with the stress of a DH with dementia, I am forgetting appts, lose things, and run around and getting nothing done. I know it is because of the caretaking, and am the ONLY caretaker because family has turned away from us because they just don't want to deal with this private hell

KathyF1 · August 5

Oh ditto. Same here, I’m very forgetful and “scattered”. I think it’s because of always trying to do everything, while dealing with someone whose behavior is at times out of control. Our brain has limits! In my opinion we probably all go through this.

CarolinaWren · August 5

glad to see you here!

I’ve been scattered as of late as well. Work has always been my respite, and right now work is overwhelming as well. Right now I’m telling myself it’s temporary

Biggles · August 5

Horrible isn’t it. I make list after list, and have to turn out the pockets in trousers & shorts before washing I find them in my hand bag little scraps of paper, might only be one or two things you know milk and jam plus go to the bank, call one of the children, a 10th birthday gift for next Tuesday etc etc otherwise it’s gone, flown out of the head. Meeting new people there name has gone before the conversations finished. It’s got to be overload it’s exhausting!!

wose · August 6

For Sure…. so much I’m getting worried. I put the butter in the silverware drawer 🤨

Gator1976 · August 6

I’m new at all this since February ‘25. I read the wrong week on my calendar this morning and went took her to her hip doctor and missed a very important EMG test at Mayo Clinic. I’m having trouble keeping up my own health. The diet is suffering too. My LW broke her hip a month ago after developing Foot Drop. So, now I’m dealing with a forgetful, Alzheimer’s patient that can’t remember her PT exercises, not cross her legs or anything else she’s not suppose to do. I’m doing more running around than I ever did my whole like. What happened to enjoying retirement, traveling and doing fun stuff. It’s all gone.

HangingIn · August 6

I keep a small spiral-bound notepad on my kitchen counter, and every night before I go to bed, I list the stuff I have to get done the next day. Some of it is very mundane, like laundry. But honestly, if I don't write it down, I'll forget it. It's been really helpful to keep me on track. For big stuff that I only do once or twice a year, like auto maintenance, scheduling appointments, and changing the whole house water filter, I have a binder of Stuff We Need To Know. I put that together long before my DH was diagnosed, so fortunately all I had to do when I started needing to take responsibility for those tasks, I didn't have to do much to update it. That also is kept on my kitchen counter, so I can't miss it.

tonyac2 · August 6

Same here. I have to write everything down anymore. Can’t hold three or four things in my head. I know it’s from the stress, anxiety and worry of being a caregiver. In addition to forgetting stuff, I’m trying to deal with what I think is unfair about being a caregiver. It’s unfair that I don’t have any downtime anymore. No time away with friends. It’s unfair that my hobbies have been neglected. Can’t ride my bike anymore or walk my dog. There are so many things that I took for granted that I can’t do anymore. Sure, I could bring my husband along, but it’s so much work because he’s in a wheelchair, plus he’s the one I’m trying to get a break from. Downtime is important because it helps me escape the reality of caregiving for awhile. I miss my downtime.

H1235 · August 6

As I sit here typing I probably have 5 different lists going and I still forget things. It’s my mom with dementia so I can’t help that nagging feeling is this the first signs? Am I getting dementia? I agree with you that say it is the stress. It’s hard to think clearly with so much stress, responsibility, and anger directed at you. I beat myself up when I forget something important. I am a person who prides myself on being organized, on time and just having my ducks in a row. Staying organized and on top of things is a full time job that I just can’t seem to keep up with.

upstateAnn · August 6

I think from the answers you know you are not alone. MY LO went into care two months ago. About four weeks ago, I found I could tackle tasks again. Fulltime caregiving eats up enormous amounts of energy. Do no5 be hard on yourself.

Metta · August 6

Raise hand here too… I keep asking myself when I need to see a neurologist for MCI even though I know it's the stress and fragmented sleep. You are not alone.

bjtm1969 · August 6

Wonderful to hear others are experiencing some of the same issues trying to keep things straight and organized everyday. I have post neuro covid issues which make it harder but the stress and constant need for me to handle everything is so taxing. I just found this site a few weeks ago and have learned so much already. The palliative doctor's office just called to set-up and appointment, I ordered the 36 Hour Day etc. You are such an amazing group of people who will help make this journey easier. Many thanks.

trottingalong · August 6

I feel so much better now.

Marla13 · August 6

One thing at a time. Unless it’s an emergency, it can wait. Save your energy and rest as much as you can. And try to be more kind to yourself.

Denise1847 · August 6

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73691/i-am-forgetting-too

The forgetfulness is a part of the stress and depression we are experiencing. Please take care of yourself. Get some help for caretaking. This disease can kill the caregiver if you let it. Family and friends just can't deal with this hell. I am sorry. You are not alone.

l7pla1w2 · August 7

The stress makes it difficult to focus on things. If you can't focus, you can't get organized. If you're not organized, you forget things and stuff doesn't get done. And when stuff doesn't get done, you get stressed. Rinse and repeat.

midge333 · August 7

Stress and sleep deprivation impairs cognitive function. We all are stressed and many of us sleep deprived. Please be kind to yourself.

pamnc123 · August 7

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73691/i-am-forgetting-too

I can relate - same here. It's my mom that I'm caring for and trying to work and take care of my home/farm. I made some mistakes at work recently because of it. Thank goodness I didn't get fired. It's a private hell - you said it right. And, family hasn't helped me AT ALL. It's horrible. absolute hell.

JC5 · August 10

oh boy can I relate! We become overwhelmed with caretaking, what we need to do, what we need to know in addition to ALL the daily responsibilities! No wonder we can think at all!!

NMF · August 10

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73691/i-am-forgetting-too

I read your posts often although I haven’t replied if at all. You have such profound insights and they are oddly so similar to how I am feeling or situations I am experiencing with my DH.
If I am remembering most of your posts correctly.

I apologize if I am wrong, but I remember one where you said your DH wasn’t the nicest person prior to the disease and is even worse now- I am in a similar situation.

I find myself forgetting often as well and I am also very organized and regimented with routines.

I too am the only caretaker as well.

I find your true description and feelings to be so impactful and insightful- and I am so sorry you’re experiencing all of this-but you also let people know they aren’t alone in this experience. I think you’re an incredibly strong individual who most certainly has made a difference in my experience with this lonely isolating hell.
This entire site has been impactful.

CassLoftis · August 14

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73691/i-am-forgetting-too

I am in the same place as you. I still work full time as well as being my DH only caregiver and I get really discouraged when I make mistakes at work. BUT, when you are drawn so thin there is bound to be something that falls through the cracks. I just wonder if my cognition will return when I am no longer a fulltime caregiver.

Carl46 · August 15

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/250575#Comment_250575

Cass, your stress level will drop a lot. That has to help your memory and concentration. My blood pressure is normal (with medication) now that I no longer care for my wife, and it was so high that it was damaging my kidneys last year. I still use memory joggers and lists, but I am absent-minded and have done so all my life, so that doesn't mean much.

I say don't worry about it. Pens and notepads were invented for a reason.

Grandot · August 18

Oh I’m so relieved to hear that others are forgetful! I was getting worried that I also had dementia. Thank you for sharing your experiences. It’s a hard road some days!!

I am forgetting, too

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