From Maybe to Reality 4

Maru · March 26

Family had a big birthday party for DH (ALZ). I was afraid that it would be too much for him but he had the time of his life and at age 90, he danced every dance. The only think that I noticed was when 2 of the grandsons came over to the house before the party and spent time alone with him. He was telling some of his life stories but really struggling to find the words. There seems to be a difference in ordinary polite conversation and trying to relate a memory in his recall of words. Being aware of other's attention or lack of it, is pretty well gone.

The other new thing is that he is calling various famly members to talk.He has never done this. I am not sure what to think about this.

Maru · August 20

Last night DH informed me that he didn't want the salad I had prepared, that he only likes salad with lettuce and tomatoes, which this was. Then, that it had to be the kind of lettuce "Mom" used, rather than the several kinds that were in this salad.

This is the second time he has told me that such and such needs to be fixed like his mother did, including her cutting up his foods for him. We have been married 66 years so these comments are way out of the ordinary.

He has ALZ with vascular disease and is probably moving into Stage 4. I know that ALZ is not the same for everyone but it seems early for this food taste change. It is possible that he is moving into stage 5.

Any thoughts or experiences welcome.

Chance Rider · August 20

Maru, I have no words of advice or wisdom to share as my husbands diagnosis is fairly new.

I have noticed recently that foods and beverages that my husband used to prefer are now not what he wants. I don’t know if he’s simply forgotten or if his tastes have changed. The “official” ALZ diagnosis was just last week, wasn’t told what stage the doctors think he’s in, but I’m guessing 4, maybe edging into 5.

Thank you for sharing your experience.

SDianeL · August 20

Food issues surfaced early with my DH. Stage 4 probably. I had to order food for him when we went to restaurants because he couldn't read a menu and order food. He no longer liked things he used to and began eating more sweets. About late stage 4 or early stage 5 he could no longer remember the names of foods like banana. One morning I fixed scrambled eggs which he always liked with catsup and he looked at the plate and said matter of fact "I don't like eggs" I said since when? He looked at me like I was asking a stupid question. One morning I fixed him pancakes instead of the usual waffles. I thought it would be a nice change but similar. He sat down, looked at the pancakes and was confused. He looked at me sadly and said "they're smooth" ….. I left the room and cried. It's a combination of the disease & aphasia. When their short term memory is gone, they start talking about the past. For many, thoughts of their Mom is comforting. Ask him about his Mom, his favorite memories of her & the meals she cooked. Are there family members that can share memories of her or her recipes with you? PS: I never ate any kind of lettuce until I was grown and out on my own. Iceberg lettuce was about it. I still prefer my salad that way. 💜

tonyac2 · August 21

My DH calls out for his siblings, mom and dad and they’re all dead. Even for his BIL’s. I just tell him they’re not here, I’m not sure where they are, etc. He calls me mom, mother, grandmother and once great grandmother. Rarely if ever calls me by my name. That’s hard.

Maru · August 21

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/251154#Comment_251154

Great idea to ask DH about his favorite foods growing up. His sister has his mother's recipe box.

This all just is moving too fast for me. Serving tasty and nourishing food has always been a way for me to show love… and it is being rejected. I need to adjust my thinking and my reactions. Intellectually I know that this is the disease, but I have to deal with my feelings.

Since this is moving so fast, I have ordered the proper bed pads and so on…just in case.

Ronk246 · August 21

My DW used to love all foods, but now 3 plus years after diagnosis, she only likes eggs scrambled with bacon, (no other food for breakfast), and only toasted cheese and tomato for lunch. Dinner is a little easier, but amazingly, she no longer cares for spicy Mexican food, used to be a favorite.

Heaven help us all.

SDianeL · August 22

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/251217#Comment_251217

yes it’s overwhelming. Lists helped me. Try to take one thing at a time. We understand how you feel. The gut punches keep coming. You are doing a good job. He’s lucky to have you. 💜

From Maybe to Reality 4

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