So many questions...

Welcome. Please ask any questions you might have as everyone here is willing to help. Even just venting and pondering the unfairness of dementia is also more than welcome. We all understand. Avail yourself of the resource documents here:

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/64696/dementia-resources/

Welcome. I have attached a staging tool that may help you figure out where he is at. It may also help you with where things are headed. I’m also attaching a good article on dementia. Have you seen a lawyer? If something were to happen to you, your children would need to step in. A DPOA would be a good idea. When/if caring for him in your home becomes too much for you, you should consider what you would want. A plan B is important. Memory care facilities are very expensive. If Medicaid may be necessary a lawyer can also give you some advice on that. You said he still goes to the market, is he driving? Your car insurance may not cover if there is an accident and he has been diagnosed with dementia. I hope you find this information helpful.

To echo what everyone has said, come back here often and ask or say anything. Everyone here has been or will be where you are now. It's a very hard road to travel and you don't have to do it alone.

Getting advice from a Certified Elder Law Attorney is critical. It's expensive but absolutely worth it. You need to have Power of Attorney for Healthcare and Finances, for a start. Now, while he is hopefully able to cooperate with you. I understand it can be much harder later on. Also talk to you Primary Care Provider and try to fine a Geriatric Neurologist or at least someone who specializes in Alzheimers. There are lots of different treatments, and each person responds differently. We can tell you our stories.

Wishing you the best, with hugs and comfort. Take care of yourself.

The two documents that H1235 included were so so so very helpful for me and I read and read and read them along with the book The 36hour day . Since you are a bit isolated , this forum will be helpful

Welcome. I also live in a more remote area where specialists are an hour to two hours away. You found a great support system here. Also very knowledgeable people willing to listen and help each other.

I am very sorry you and your LO are on this road with the rest of us. I will share one thing I have discovered. Seeing doctors to discuss my questions/concerns related to Alzheimer’s caregiving has been zero help to me thus far. After about two years of trying, I now find more help on this forum than anywhere else when I encounter a new problem.

Also, my DH takes Memantine and Donepezil but who knows if it does anything? It doesn’t seem do any harm, so he takes it. Every one of our LO’s will travel a unique path. As 24/7 caregivers, we are likewise traveling alone. I wish you all the strength you will need to cope.

DW's PCP and neurologist kept writing referrals for a driving evaluation, and I did look into it. But the reality was that she had not driven in a couple of years and even seemed wary of doing so. One way or another she would ask me to drive her. She would have been very hurt to be told she couldn't drive, and she would be especially hurt if they took her license. As it was, I renewed her license, by mail, last October. I lied on the question about mental impairment. The license was a very important validation of her personhood.

I realize not everyone is so "lucky" to have their LO voluntarily stop driving.

My DW voluntarily agreed to stop driving following her diagnosis from the neurologist and has made almost no mention of wanting to drive since that neurologist visit almost 4 years ago. Having read so many of the experiences of others, I feel so enormously fortunate that we got through driving without any conflict or incident.