I am seriously flipped out

Hello Eloise… I’m truly sorry for your ongoing ordeal. Seems like every moment is chaotic, I know. My DH is awfully verbally abusive, like all day. I was, like you in a very very distressing private hell. Acceptance was key for me. I think I thought if I screamed and fought hard enough, I could somehow eradicate this situation. In my case , I’m ashamed to say it took years for my acceptance. I’m a never give up or wave the white flag kind of person. With this terrible journey tho, you must. You must ask for help. You must accept, somehow that this will be your journey from now on, if you accept the mission. I am nowhere near the end of my acceptance journey cause I fail everyday, but it has brought me some sort of peace. It’s like learning a new skill, try and fail over and over till it clicks. I’m with you, it’s very very difficult to love, take care of, watch out for and at the same time ignore the very person who berates you all day. You also must step into their reality, all the while knowing it’s not really reality…very hard…. Go easy on yourself, treat yourself, isolate to another room if possible and lastly, something I haven’t done yet, but soon …. ask for medicine for him. And of course, most importantly utilize all the resources above that these wise folks posted. There are no words of love or even respect from him anymore for me, but I know now that this wasn’t his choice and every now and then I see a flicker of the man he used be.