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So I was planning to do something productive today for once…

Vitruvius
Vitruvius Member Posts: 396
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in Caring For a Spouse or Partner

My plans for a productive day came to an end mid morning when hospice called. The hospice nurse regularly calls to update me on his visit.  Today he told me first that my DW was being recertified, and assured me that there was no chance she will ever not be recertified based on her condition. While doing so he told me that she has just been weighed in at 74.6 pounds. She is 5’-7” which makes her BMI 11.7, Google tells me this is considered life threatening. The nurse went on to tell me, as he has before, that he and the hospice doctor are a bit surprised that she is still alive in this condition and how rare it is for a dementia patient to get this far along in their experience…and that ended any chance of my doing anything meaningful today. 

Comments

  • RetiredTeacher
    RetiredTeacher Member Posts: 172
    250 Care Reactions 100 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Likes
    Member

    I am very sorry for the sad news you received today. I can imagine how much that hurts your heart to hear how little she weighs. This disease is so insidious, ravages their mind, body and spirit. It is truly heart breaking. Sending hugs and prayers for you and your wife.

  • CindyBum
    CindyBum Member Posts: 494
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    That would definitely put an end to a day. I’m so sorry. Xoxo

  • Lgb35
    Lgb35 Member Posts: 152
    100 Care Reactions 100 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Likes
    Member
    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/73898/so-i-was-planning-to-do-something-productive-today-for-once

    I am so sorry to hear this. I have been thinking about you two and wondering how things are going.

  • Beachfan
    Beachfan Member Posts: 820
    Seventh Anniversary 250 Care Reactions 500 Comments 100 Likes
    Member

    Vitruvius,

    I am so sorry for the situation in which you find yourself and your DW for these past many years. As much as you love your DW, there is a limit to how much the mind, body and spirit can tolerate as a caregiver. As you may recall, I am 2 years into stage 8 after 13 1/2 years of “diagnosed “ Alz. Had it not been for a sudden, undetected internal bleed which took my husband’s life in 3 days, I truly believe that he would still be here today, lingering, just lingering. Although I never wished or prayed for DH’s demise, I am thankful every day that neither of us suffered a minute more than we did. May you both find peace sooner, rather than later. Your stamina is remarkable; I would have caved by now. 🙏🏻🙏🏻

  • Kat63
    Kat63 Member Posts: 159
    Fifth Anniversary 100 Comments 100 Care Reactions 25 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    So sorry for your news today. It has to be heartbreaking. 🙏🏻🙏🏻

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 2,054
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    Member

    So sorry. May your DW have a peaceful passing if it’s time. 🙏💜

  • Daughter of a Marine
    Daughter of a Marine Member Posts: 73
    Seventh Anniversary 25 Care Reactions 10 Comments 5 Likes
    Member

    I can't imagine how difficult it was to hear that news regarding your love. No matter how much we try to prepare for that call, it isn't possible. My heart and prayers are with you both.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more

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