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How long can show timing last?

I was purposefully eavesdropping on my DH's phone conversation with his Mom because that's the kind of person I am now. And I was thinking how good he sounded with her. But then I heard him tell her about an argument he had with his sibling that did not really happen. He did this about six months ago before his diagnosis, and now I know it's a confabulation. He sounded great with his mom until about an hour into their conversation. (His Mom does not know about his final CT PET Scan and diagnosis of Alzheimer's.) Does show timing typically have a time duration?

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  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 2,079
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    showtiming length varies by PWD because of many factors. It will also vary based on how he’s doing that day or even time of day. One thing to watch for is that showtiming is very difficult for the PWD to maintain and they may be anxious, agitated or very tired afterwards. Do you mind sharing why his Mom isn’t aware of his diagnosis?

  • Maru
    Maru Member Posts: 166
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    I have read that showtiming can continue up to stage 6, although it is probably more limited by then. Other than caretakers most people will not recognize any difference and will chalk up to a wrong word as a slip of the tongue or just old age changes. As the caretaker for DH I see these things as they accumulate along with other subtle changes.

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 5,631
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    @Shan456

    With my dad, who could showtime like he was gunning for an Oscar, the length of time her could sustain showtiming shortened with the disease progression.

    In the middle stages, my folks lived at a distance so my visits meant staying over a couple of days. He hadn't fully developed anosognosia at that point was wary of me recognizing his worsening memory, so I assume he put considerable effort into appearing OK for me. Early on, he could be OKish for a weekend, especially if mom and I gave him down time by going to the beach or shopping. But as he progressed and began to shadow mom more, he couldn't keep it together more than 24 hours.

    By the time they moved closer to me and he was seeing me routinely, he stopped showtiming for me entirely but could still keep it together for his brother or a medical appointment for about an hour tops.

    HB

  • Shan456
    Shan456 Member Posts: 12
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    Yes, I can share why his Mom doesn't know and am open to advice.

    His family is aware of his memory issues. And they are aware that he has been going through doctor appointments and testing.

    When he told his mother about his MRI results, he told her he had a brain tumor. That is what he remembered the doctor saying. However, his doctor did not say that. The doctor told us the results on speaker phone. The doctor said he had brain atrophy. When I reminded my husband that he did not have a brain tumor, he did call his mother back and tell her he had brain atrophy. (In hindsight, a brain tumor would have been better news.)

    Since then, my husband had a neuropsychological evaluation and then a CT PET Scan and was given a diagnosis of Early Onset Alzheimer's Disease. He has not told his mother about the last two tests.

    I don't think he wants to because he has always prided himself on overcoming his childhood poverty and other family dynamics because of her.

    I haven't felt it was my place to tell her. And, honestly, she has never treated me well, so I never talk to her on purpose.

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 2,079
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    Sadly, your DH’s Alzheimer’s could progress rapidly so very soon you may have no choice but to tell her. He can no longer reason so he may not truly realize he has a progressive disease or know how to tell her he has Alzheimer’s.I called my step-daughter and told her about her Dad. I asked her if she wanted periodic updates. She said yes. I also called our friends and family and told them. I did not tell my husband I did that. I would want to know if my son had Alzheimer’s. I think if I were you I would call your DH’s Mom and tell her and explain that he is confabulating things due to his memory loss. Just my opinion, but I’m not in your shoes.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more