How long can show timing last?

showtiming length varies by PWD because of many factors. It will also vary based on how he’s doing that day or even time of day. One thing to watch for is that showtiming is very difficult for the PWD to maintain and they may be anxious, agitated or very tired afterwards. Do you mind sharing why his Mom isn’t aware of his diagnosis?

@Shan456

With my dad, who could showtime like he was gunning for an Oscar, the length of time her could sustain showtiming shortened with the disease progression.

In the middle stages, my folks lived at a distance so my visits meant staying over a couple of days. He hadn't fully developed anosognosia at that point was wary of me recognizing his worsening memory, so I assume he put considerable effort into appearing OK for me. Early on, he could be OKish for a weekend, especially if mom and I gave him down time by going to the beach or shopping. But as he progressed and began to shadow mom more, he couldn't keep it together more than 24 hours.

By the time they moved closer to me and he was seeing me routinely, he stopped showtiming for me entirely but could still keep it together for his brother or a medical appointment for about an hour tops.

HB

Sadly, your DH’s Alzheimer’s could progress rapidly so very soon you may have no choice but to tell her. He can no longer reason so he may not truly realize he has a progressive disease or know how to tell her he has Alzheimer’s.I called my step-daughter and told her about her Dad. I asked her if she wanted periodic updates. She said yes. I also called our friends and family and told them. I did not tell my husband I did that. I would want to know if my son had Alzheimer’s. I think if I were you I would call your DH’s Mom and tell her and explain that he is confabulating things due to his memory loss. Just my opinion, but I’m not in your shoes.

This phenomena is so amazing to observe from the spouse/caregiver position. My dear wife, gone now for three weeks, was able to do this "showtiming" with the best. I would try to keep family updated on her status because they wanted the information. I had created a Facebook private site for myself and the caregivers to record and share our experiences each day to keep up all updated. I opened that page to very close family because they wanted to know more. However, when some would come by to visit (duration usually 2 hours or less), my dear wife would engage, laugh some, respond a bit, etc. Their reaction was often that she cannot be as bad as reported because she seems okay. I tried to explain what was happening but I am not sure it was ever accepted as accurate. One's own observations trumped the reports they read. Those of us providing full time care for our loved one deal with questioning ourselves at every step with this ever changing disease. There is no simple "cookbook" of actions or steps. We are improvising every day, every hour to handle the changes. When family questions the status of the loved one because their occasional visit experience differs, often quite dramatically, from reported condition, it can cause the caregiver to question if they are misreading the situation themselves. It can cause us to start to question if we have overstated the condition because we are tired and stressed out. I am sure that can happen but, in our case, that was not what was happening. There was consensus among myself and the caregivers who were with her every day. I encouraged family to get on this site, read the posts, learn the facts from those of us living in this world of Alzheimer/Dementia. As noted in other comments, as the disease progresses, the loved one's ability to "showtime" diminishes. That happened with us and the family seemed shocked by the abrupt change. It was not abrupt at all but their comparisons were flawed by the "showtiming" which they discounted. Just stay true to your own assessment, believe in yourself, trust your decisions an try to educate others. If I knew at the start what I know now ,I would try to make signing up for this forum, reading posts and comments and asking questions on here required to interact with us. Books and articles are helpful but talking to those who actually are living in this nightmare with a loved one is the real TRUTH.

I think that is a very accurate description. Many people who we see only on occasion for short periods are entirely unaware that my DW has any problem at all. Yet her memory of the last 24 hrs and the last 10 years is almost non existent.