Favored daughter of three

Welcome. So sorry you are in this situation. Dealing with a difficult sibling is so difficult. The manipulation of your mom against you is devastating (I’ve experienced it). Our lo with dementia are so vulnerable and susceptible to manipulation, especially from their own child. You want to protect your mom, but anything you do to protect her will be twisted and turned around to pit your mom against you. I imagine your sister will drag your mom into any fight you mount to try and protect your mom from her(that is what my brother has always done). It doesn’t help that your sibling is doing exactly what your mom wants, ignoring symptoms and deficits. My brother always sided with mom. He never wanted to take away her independence and freedoms, even if was to keep her safe. I always feel like there are just no good choices when dealing with my brother. It is a shame our loved ones have to suffer because of these greedy, head in the sand siblings. Thankfully I am my moms dpoa, but that has not stopped him from causing all kinds of chaos. I wouldn’t hold your breath on adult protective services helping. It’s my understanding it is extremely hard to get them to act. I think you should consider seeing a lawyer. Maybe they would recommend you try for guardianship. I would write down and document everything you can regarding what has happened and the symptoms you have noticed. I’m not sure how it may be used, but like I said I think a lawyer could help. I have attached a common staging tool for dementia. I’m not sure how this might help either, maybe give you a better idea of symptoms. Good luck!

Sadly very common- something seems flip a switch in some people to grab possessions and use power when a family member is dying. Whether it is their basic personality now revealed or they're acting out because they can't face the fact a parent is dying- the result is the same - they aren't behaving properly.

If you are a mandated reporter- don't risk your career by not reporting. Your sister's personality isn't going to change - nothing she did was an oversight.

Take whatever documents you have that your mother had drawn up before and the new ones and see an elder law attorney who litigates as part of their practice. Ask what your chances are to be able to step in since you fear neglect [ which makes sense- Sister 3 wants the money as quick and as intact as possible].

Sometimes a letter from your attorney may make her back down. Protecting your Mom is the goal. Maybe a private conservatorship/fiduciary can be hired to oversee her finances and care -putting the decision making in independent hands and keeping your Mom out of court .