Alzheimer's and Finances

MHAmick · September 16

My 84-YO dad has Alzheimer's and is living independently still. He lives close to me, so I see him every day. As most of our loved ones, my dad does not recognize he has a memory problem. I am his POA, Guardian, etc., but he honestly doesn't remember us putting all that in place years ago. How did everyone take over the finances? I have changed his mailing address and receive most bills now. But he still has investment accounts with a brokerage firm and calls them ALL the time asking about his money, telling them he has never received any of it (which isn't true), and threatening to pull it out and put it in a our local bank. It's like we're on a hamster wheel. I have tried deleting his brokerage firm's number from his phone, going paperless with his statements so it doesn't confuse him. He has such trouble remembering, but he remembers who to call to ask about his money. We have this same discussion at least once a week. It happened again last night and I sadly kind of lost my patience. I know it isn't his fault. Does anyone have any advice on how to handle this situation? It sucks.

April23 · September 16

We talked to my dad’s longtime money manager and gave him my DPOA and made it clear that my dad would no longer be conducting any transactions. He even instructed the firm that I be contacted in the event my dad called the main number and somehow found a work around. They were actually great about it and if he calked, told him everything was fine but they were looking into it, etc. My dad lost the ability to use his phone and computer about the same time so I didn’t face the same challenges. It sounds like you’ve done what you can so far.

I would definitely make sure all his financial institutions have your DPOA, etc. and talk with his brokerage firm. You may be forced to take away his access by changing passwords, etc. I’ve heard horror stories about LO’s doing real financial harm, he is vulnerable to scams, etc. Is he still driving? Does he still have debit and credit cards? You will need to take these over, lock them down, etc.

Unfortunately I wouldn’t expect your dad to stop asking about his money for some time.

H1235 · September 16

welcome. It definitely sounds like you are on the right track. I also changed the mailing address on everything when I realized I couldn’t trust mom to give me the bills. She was very independent and wanted to sort through everything herself and then would just give me what she thought I needed. That did not work! I was fortunate that mom forgot about her investment accounts. She has remembered her bank account and asked about it often, for a while. Her phone did not have the banks number and when she demanded a copy of her bank statement I managed to copy it without her bank account number or the banks phone number. This prevented any calls to the bank (she is not tech savvy enough to find the number on line). So the only way for her to contact them was to go there. Unfortunately I have a niece that is of poor moral character and I was afraid she might bring her (and probably walk away with some money). When I contacted the bank about not letting mom have access to her money they said they couldn’t do that. It’s her account! Even if she didn’t have her ID ( they apparently had a copy on file), know her account number, or know the account password (which they ask me for every time I make a transaction, I set up the password). Thankfully the niece moved out of state and the issue was resolved. I was prepared to move all her money to a different bank. I really didn’t want to since there was social security and pension direct deposit that would have had to be changed. I would definitely make sure they have a copy of your DPOA. For moms investment account’s they had to run everything through their lawyers, so it took a bit. I would call and see what they can do to help you. You may need to change investment companies. You don’t want him to actually pull the money out. As far as his questions to you, I would just keep it real vague. Your money is safe, I can’t remember how much you have in that account, I’ll see what I can find out, that kind of thing. Others here have suggested locking their lo’s credit so they can’t take out a loan for a brand new car or something. If you think he has the capacity to make something like that happen, you should look into it. Good luck.

Alzheimer's and Finances

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