Taking advantage of not remembering

dancsfo · September 19

I think others have mentioned this but I take advantage of PWD's inability to remember in order to avoid problems. For example, PWD tries to peel label off of a bottle (salad dressing, or whatever), but fails since it's difficult and can make a mess or spill things in the process by forgetting to cap the bottle. Rather than asking to stop that (and result in agitation and get in an argument), I can just ask to "see the bottle", or offer to help, and promptly hide it. PWD won't remember what was being done and will go back to eating dinner or some other task.

I suspect that a magician can do a good job hiding things with visual misdirection so the PWD's eyes won't follow what I'm doing and I can make things disappear.

Bluebird · September 19

Before Alzheimer’s my husband hated leftovers so I always had to fix small amounts of food so there wouldn’t be any leftovers. Now I can fix a large amount of whatever we’re having and serve it for several meals in a row since he has no idea what he ate at any previous meal.

SDianeL · September 19

great idea. Thanks for sharing.

H1235 · September 19

My mom has vascular dementia and her memory is not so bad. Her symptoms are lack of executive functioning, poor judgment and anosognosia. While I don’t want things to be any worse for her, I have to admit I think things would be a lot easier if her memory was bad. I can’t push anything off til tomorrow, because she will remember and be waiting. I can’t change the subject in the hopes that she will just forget the previous conversation. Her memory is actually proof to her that her dementia is not that bad. I’m glad there is something positive for many caregivers in the very awful symptom of memory loss. Take the positive where you can find it.

SiberianIris · September 19

I agree with H1235 saying "take the positive where you can find it". I remember the days before Mom was diagnosed how various things she'd do, like repeated questions, would annoy me to no end. Now that she's in early stage 6 of Alz, her short term memory is almost non-existent.

She recently moved into memory care, and I brought her some new shoes to try on. We must've gone through the routine of opening the box and trying on the shoes nearly 10 times. I've developed a lot more patience over the years. It helped pass the time for the visit, and I enjoyed seeing her excitement over a new pair of shoes.

Unfortunately, she hasn't forgotten that she's in MC and still asks when she can leave. Thankfully she doesn't remember I was the one who walked her in there. She didn't remember eating lunch that day, but she did remember an activity they did several days ago when they played musical instruments. She said "that's the most fun I've had in a long time - I hope they do it again". (I'll be sure to let the activities director know.)

This is really interesting because never in my life have I ever known my mother to express any interest in playing a musical instrument.

Taking advantage of not remembering

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