When or if or why to call ambulance if notable changes in bp and demeanor

You may want to ask for a hospice referral. I would also consider a DNR order. It's hard and you all would benefit from the support.

Hospice was the best thing that ever happened on this dementia journey. No longer did I have to make all of the decisions, I had an entire team to help me and 24/7 phone support. Add to that visits by the RN and CNA and there is less pressure than before to decide what the "right" thing is to do

My DHs blood pressure would spike but he had other symptoms like sweating, nausea and dizziness. I did not call 911 the first time but asked his doctor and his PCP said next time have him taken to the ER to rule out stroke. He was in stage 6 at the time. They kept him overnight and found nothing. When the disease reaches the Posterior Cortex part of the brain it can affect blood pressure, blood sugar and other bodily functions. Unless she’s having other symptoms I would not have her taken to the ER. I would also ditto what others said about getting a Hospice referral. They will reevaluate her every 6 months. They offer so much help. The hospice nurse will let you know if and when to have her taken to the ER.

@SDLmom Hi and welcome. I am sorry for your reason to be here but pleased you found this place.

Your situation seems complicated. Who has the legal standing to make medical decisions for mom? Is it dad or you? If he has dementia— even early stages— he may not have the empathy or executive function to make wise and compassionate choices. If it's not you, you might need to obtain guardianship of the pair of them to protect them both.

Tell me about "almost makes up stories about mom". This might be a confabulation— when a PWD recalls the gist something that happened but not the details around who, what, where, and when and backfills with random thoughts. His behavior could be related to anxiety or depression which can look like irritation or agitation. Especially in males.

It's a great idea to bring in hospice. It might be prudent to describe the service to dad simply as extra care to keep mom safe rather than use the "h" word. Older people sometimes have crazy ideas about what hospice is; my own college-educated mom thought you weren't fed on hospice.

I like these 2 books for understanding end-of-life choices especially for those not in the medical field.

HB