Grief while still caring for LO



I just need to vent to someone that understands. Mom is in MC so I know I am not dealing with as much as many here, but it is so hard. She is sad, angry, scared and confused and any one of those is hard to watch your Mom go through. I miss my Mom and all the good times. I had my doctor say “it must be easier now that she is in memory care”… it is not. Someone said to me “it will be easier when she can’t remember you”… it will not be. This has been the hardest year of my life but I know it has been harder for her. Dad died a year ago and she has been through so much since then.
Everyone here is so helpful. Thank you for lending an ear.
Comments
-
yes we understand. Watching your LO go through this is heartbreaking. You are grieving what you’ve lost and what will never be. It’s called anticipatory grief. Ask the facility if they have a Social Worker you can talk to. They offered at my husband’s facility. They also had a support group. I know the sadness you feel. We’re here for you. Praying for you and your Mom. Hugs. 💜🙏
0 -
@otfgirl750-
Every part of this is hard. Placement is a different kind of caregiving with slightly different concerns, not a get-out-of-jail-free card.
What you are describing is anticipatory grief. There are books and articles that may help you understand this unique kind of grief.
HB0 -
hello. good evening. I hope my message finds you well. Stay strong my friend. I wish I could do more.
0 -
We understand you here. Every step is difficult. Just take it one day at a time. Not every day will be good and not every day will be bad. It’s possible to get along just one step at a time
1
Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more
Categories
- All Categories
- 563 Living With Alzheimer's or Dementia
- 296 I Am Living With Alzheimer's or Other Dementia
- 267 I Am Living With Younger Onset Alzheimer's
- 16.5K Supporting Someone Living with Dementia
- 5.5K I Am a Caregiver (General Topics)
- 8K Caring For a Spouse or Partner
- 2.6K Caring for a Parent
- 215 Caring Long Distance
- 133 Supporting Those Who Have Lost Someone
- 17 Discusiones en Español
- 5 Vivir con Alzheimer u Otra Demencia
- 4 Vivo con Alzheimer u Otra Demencia
- 1 Vivo con Alzheimer de Inicio Más Joven
- 12 Prestación de Cuidado
- 3 Soy Cuidador (Temas Generales)
- 8 Cuidar de un Padre
- 23 ALZConnected Resources
- View Discussions For People Living with Dementia
- View Discussions for Caregivers
- Discusiones en Español
- Browse All Discussions
- Dementia Resources
- 8 Account Assistance
- 15 Help