Have any questions about how to use the community? Check out the Help Discussion.

Being accused of any and everything

Kyliesuwill
Kyliesuwill Member Posts: 3
First Comment
Member
in I Am a Caregiver (General Topics)

I am caring for my grandmother. I was wondering if anyone has any tips for a specific and main hardship I'm having. She accuses me of being "the biggest liar she has ever met" about everything. She will ask me a seemingly easy question for example, she will be holding a peice of mail and ask me where it came from. So I tell her she got that in the mail yesterday. Her very next statement is "stop lying" this is all day everyday. Does anyone else care for someone who accuses them of lying non-stop? I have showed her camera footage to corroborate what I tell her and her response is that "you could have just put that on there" like I doctored the footage.

This is especially difficult because I didn't grow up with her and haven't ever been very close. She has ALWAYS been stubborn and independent even before this disease it has just amplified. Thank you for any tips. When I try to redirect she says "don't change the subject " "you think I'm so stupid" "you think you are so clever" 😔

Comments

  • Kyliesuwill
    Kyliesuwill Member Posts: 3
    First Comment
    Member

    Sorry she has Lewy Body dementia. Level 5

  • ARIL
    ARIL Member Posts: 216
    100 Likes 100 Comments 25 Care Reactions 25 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Yes, this is something I experienced for quite a while with my stepparent. Being screamed at—“You’re a LIAR!”—was very hard to take, over and over.

    The behavior is not an uncommon symptom of the disease, and using logic (showing camera footage, etc.) is not going to work. Her brain can no longer process logical arguments as it once did.

    There are resources that give advice about how to respond. You can search the internet for “person with dementia accuses caregiver of lying,” and you will find articles and YouTube videos. This article gives examples of some responses:

    https://yourdementiatherapist.com/alzheimers-dementia/how-do-you-deal-with-false-dementia-accusations/

    You may also find it helpful to talk with her doctor. Sometimes medication can help reduce anxiety and hence the delusions and confabulations.

    It is exhausting, I know, to bear the brunt of this. Hang in there. People here do understand how it feels for you.

  • Kyliesuwill
    Kyliesuwill Member Posts: 3
    First Comment
    Member
    https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/255763#Comment_255763

    This was beyond helpful it brought me to tears. Thank you so much. From the bottom of my heart thank you.

  • ARIL
    ARIL Member Posts: 216
    100 Likes 100 Comments 25 Care Reactions 25 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Ah, you are welcome. That is very encouraging. We can’t cure this awful disease, but we can help each other. Take care.,

  • SDianeL
    SDianeL Member Posts: 2,311
    1,000 Likes 500 Insightfuls Reactions 1000 Comments 500 Care Reactions
    Member

    her behavior is very common in dementia. It’s not her talking it’s the disease. 2 things I learned here are: Never argue with someone with dementia and You can’t reason with someone whose reasoner is broken. Repeat that through the day to yourself. Read the book “The 36 Hour Day” and search online for dementia caregiving videos by Tam Cummings and Teepa Snow. Talk to her doctor about anti anxiety medication. Come back often for support. Hugs. 💜

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more

Community Guidelines


Click here to review the ALZConnected Community Guidelines

Categories