Memory Care Week 1

DH has been in memory care one week now. Biggest issue is his combativeness when being changed, which was a huge problem for me when he was home, as it is for many of you I’m sure. He’s also difficult to redirect when he’s doing something he shouldn’t, like taking a woman’s shoes from her room. Med adjustments are being made to try to keep him more calm and the doctor and nursing director assure me it will take a few weeks to settle in. I’m not panicking yet but I’m such a worry wart I can’t help thinking about it.

On the positive side they were able to get him showered and shampooed today! (I don’t know how many people it took 😉). They tried yesterday and almost got him in but had to stop. Another positive is that when he sees me he says things like “how did you get here?” or “what are you doing here?” which means he knows who I am. I stayed away 5 days before my first visit and was very nervous about whether he’d recognize me. And so far he hasn’t said anything about taking him home, which I also worried about. We walk a lot on the nice outdoor courtyard and look at big picture books they have in the small living rooms and yesterday they even coaxed him into the activities room and I sat with him there.

As for me, I filled up my schedule with things I’ve been putting off for a while, and I’m socializing again, but leaving plenty of time for visiting DH. Loneliness and sadness overcome me sometimes, as I expected, but I feel freedom that I haven’t felt in so long. So I can easily be upbeat when I spend time with him now and become his loving wife again.

It’s a tough adjustment for both of us but so far, even with the hiccups, I’m hopeful this will work out. Thanks for letting me unload!